Men miss the important details . . .

Ronda Rich's picture

“What is it with men?” Karen was asking on the phone.

I sighed heavily, the kind of expression that denotes aggravation. “Beats me,” I replied.

We had both had a morning full of men who wouldn’t give us any details, wouldn’t tell us all we needed to know.

I was having breakfast with a friend who was talking about his “best buddy” at work. Those were his words, not mine. Best buddy.

“Is he married?” I asked, out of curiosity. I had met the dashing Irishman and wondered – as women will do because romance is important to us – if he had someone. Also, as women do, I had someone I’d like to introduce him to, if he wasn’t involved.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t know.”

My eyes bugged out. “You don’t know?” I said it with such incredulousness that he drew back defensively – as men will do because they always withdraw in preparation for what they are certain will be a battle – and replied, “We’ve never talked about his personal life.”

That, of course, turned into the typical male-female debate that was liberally sprinkled with the usual phrases of “You men never” and “You women always”.

Later that day, Karen was complaining that her husband, Rickey, had not found out how a friend, who had been ill, was feeling.

“I said, ‘Did you ask him how he’s doing?’” Karen reported. “And Rickey said, ‘No. I figured if he wanted me to know, he’d tell me.’”

Yep, that’s par for the ol’ male course.

Women don’t wait to be told. We ask. We prod. We sometimes gently push and, at other times, we circumvent the system and ask around behind their backs. Whatever it takes, we find out.

We leave no stone unturned.

Most men, however, leave the stone alone until moss has covered it completely.

People, especially women, ask me for advice. One of the most frequently asked questions on romance has to do with this very subject.

Here’s the most common scenario: A woman has been going out with a guy in whom she is very interested. Yet, she worries because he never asks any questions about her.

“It’s so strange,” she’ll fret in distress. “If he likes me, why wouldn’t he ask anything about me?”

For two reasons: First, men don’t ask. They think it’s intrusive. Second, we usually don’t give them a chance to ask. We tell them whatever it is they need to know. So there’s no need for questions.

Still, it worries women a lot. Why, we wonder, can’t men be more like us? Why can’t they feign interest in us by asking questions? Why can’t they get – and give – the details?

Well, if you ask that question, you have to be fair and see the male side of it. They always want to know why we can’t be more like them. Why we can’t ask fewer questions and just roll with the flow.

A repulsive thought, isn’t it? It’s hard to imagine a life where the stories are large and sweeping yet void of intricate detail. Why on earth would anyone want to live such an uninformed life?

Not me, that’s for sure. And for that matter, not any woman I know.

Come to Dew’s party Sun.

After receiving numerous requests, columnist Ronda Rich is issuing an open invitation to readers of her Dixie Divas column to Dixie Dew’s fifth birthday party.

The dachshund, who appears regularly in the column, will celebrate the event on Sunday, Feb. 26 from 2 to 5 p.m. at the Smithgall Woods Humane Society and Animal Shelter, located just outside of Cleveland, Ga., about 25 miles north of Gainesville on Ga. Highway 75.

Dixie Dew’s Dog-licious Birthday Bash will spotlight the Humane Society and all the wonderful, adoptable animals housed at the shelter.

For more information or directions, please call Smithgall Woods Humane Society and Animal Shelter at 706-865-4135.

Spotlight Facts:
What: Dixie Dew’s Dog-licious Birthday Bash
When: Sunday, Feb. 26, 2 p.m. to 5 p.m.
Where: Smithgall Woods Humane Society and Animal Shelter, Cleveland, Ga.

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