Everyone needs a hobby

Life would be rather boring if not for our hobbies. Would the world have remembered Michelangelo if he hadn’t taken up painting?

How about Genghis Khan? One day his wife thought it would be a good idea to try her hand at cooking. Unfortunately her culinary talents were somewhat lacking. Genghis had to conquer the known world just to find a good cheeseburger.

And finally, what if Mr. Jefferson hadn’t taken up writing as a hobby? The Declaration of Independence might have never been penned. Throughout history, the pursuit of a good hobby has been undeniably important.

You say you don’t have a hobby? Well, let me become your guide to finding one. All you have to do is follow the easy steps listed below. And soon all of your free time, and money, will evaporate. Just ask The Wife. I’m an expert at starting new hobbies. No lack of time or money has ever stopped me.

First, you must find a hobby. Important point – don’t worry what other people think of your choice. It only has to make sense to you.

For example, collecting pencils from around the world could be the perfect hobby. And after you’re finished, just thing of all the kindling you have for the fireplace. It’s a hobby, not rocket science.

Although my father-in-law was a rocket scientist, but I don’t think he had any spare time for hobbies. Guess he was too busy building rockets.

I helped Twin Brother Mark build an Apollo moon rocket once. I got glue all over my hands and stuck them to his head. I wonder if my father-in-law ever got glue on his hands building his rockets.

The second step in developing a new hobby is being able to justify spending money for your hobby. It must be more important to spend money on the hobby than spending it on anything else — like getting rid of that credit card balance.

This part is simple. Just repeat these words, “Honey, it makes me happy.” That phrase can be used effectively by both males and females. It has worked around our house for years.

Third, and this is perhaps the most important step, once you tire of the new hobby, don’t ever throw any of it away. Just store it in a closet or basement.

You say you have no basement and all the closets are full? Well, then, building an outside storage shed could be the perfect hobby for you.

For example, last year The Wife and I took up biking. We thought it would be great to peddle around town, but we had a slight problem. In order to bike, one must first have one.

So it was off to the store. After buying helmets, water bottles, and bikes, we were ready for our new hobby. (No, I didn’t get a pair of those super-tight shorts. The Wife wouldn’t let me.) It’s been over a year now, and we’ve ridden them once. At least they look really nice hanging in our basement next to our new hobby — wine making.

The Wife is attending Georgia State working on her Ph.D. in education. She’s really smart. Her professor is even smarter. He has so many letters and degrees behind his name they almost ran out of the alphabet. He also has something else — a really cool hobby.

The money we’ve spent on bikes and wine making pales in comparison to what he has spent. He has an entire basement full of model towns, tracks going through walls, and trains — lots and lots of trains. In honor of our hobby, he’s going to build a winery at one of his stops.

Caution: some hobbies are dangerous. A coworker of mine raises bees. He said, “Making your own honey is fun and interesting.” For a moment, I thought beekeeping would be my next hobby. That is, until I saw him last week all swollen. I’ve decided to keep my safe hobby. The worst thing that can happen is we have cloudy wine.

It’s not just us Neanderthals that spend piles of money on hobbies. Nope, I know a guy who married a scrap booker. A true scrapbook aficionado will spend more money on custom cabinets, rollaway tables, and book doodads than a winemaker, biker or even a really smart train guy.

A bee keeper should stick to having bees and honey in the backyard. The professor with a basement full of trains should never consider being a real train conductor. And our wine is not for sale. We give it away to our friends. I’ve even swapped some for honey and didn’t once get stung.

Lastly, here is the most important piece of advice about hobbies. Whichever one you chose to start, never under any circumstances turn a hobby into a profession. That’s a good way to suck all the fun and pleasure right out of it.

Plus, you will be creating a bigger problem. You’ll have to find a new hobby.