A Valentine to Sabine

Valentine’s Day was yesterday, so I hope that everyone was nice to their sweetie. If you weren’t I’m sure you are hearing about it today.

I’m off the hook this year for Valentine’s Day. After having to drop a substantial amount of money on home repairs over the past two weeks, I was specifically told that my wife and I were not exchanging Valentine’s Day gifts this year.

That just may be the best gift of all.

You see, Sabine is hard to shop for, which is a mixed blessing. She doesn’t want jewelry because she has a ring, earrings and necklace that she never takes off. There’s no need to buy candy, because we still have Halloween and Christmas candy hanging out at our place.

She does say that she would like to get flowers more often, and I’m trying to stay on top of this, but inevitably, I’ll buy flowers and then one of cats will start chowing down on them and then throwing up.

It’s a terribly disgusting cycle and as the first one awake and downstairs in the morning, Sabine is usually the first to discover the present that the cat has left for us. So, flowers are truly the gift that keeps on giving.

This year, I decided to just go with a card. Due to the financial hit we took, I told her that I would have to make one out of construction paper, dry macaroni and glitter. She laughed, thinking I was joking, so I then had to hit the card section at the grocery store.

Shopping for cards is not fun. Not only are there too many choices (racy, Far Side, religious, silly, sarcastic and sappy) but people never put the cards back in the right place. Not that it’s easy to do when the joker in front of you screwed up the entire section by misplacing the cards that he or she looked at. It becomes an impossible puzzle, especially when you find one you like and then try to find the corresponding envelope.

Eventually, I settled on one that combined silly and sappy, which is really a perfect blend of my personality. I have a goofy sense of humor most of the time but then also get moved by the strangest things (why did I like Kelly Clarkson’s acceptance speech on the Grammys so much? I know, I’m a wuss.)

I’m writing this column before Valentine’s Day, so I haven’t given Sabine her card yet, but I’m sure she’ll appreciate the sentiment.

When I think about what my life was like before we got together, I shudder with a combination of fear and repulsion. My life has changed so much since I fell in love with Sabine - it’s like going from being primordial ooze to a human being. I evolved and she was the catalyst.

It may be a sappy line from an overly sentimental movie, but it’s true, she completes me. Without her I would be an empty shell living in my mother’s bonus room, watching Buffy marathons and swelling up in weight. Instead, I have a family and a reason to do my best in all aspects of my life.

Dang, now I need a new card, so I can add that stuff to it.