The Wife’s return

It has been seven days since The Wife left me. I truly didn’t think I would survive even this long. The simplest tasks have become incredibly difficult.

Like trying to locate where I last placed my shoes. I know I had them on when I came home, but someone must have moved them. I think it must be one of our cats.

It has been 168 hours since The Wife left. Decision-making on almost any topic is now impossible. How much do I tip the waitress at lunch? Just what were those stocks we need to invest in? And where did I leave my car keys? Like my shoes, I know I had them when I got home last night. At least I think I did. Maybe the dog has buried them in the woods.

I turn around and ask for advice, but there’s no answer. My voice just echoes off the walls. The house is warm when The Wife is present and so very cold in her absence.

Our two cats search out warmth in the sunbeams, but other than being really good at sleeping most of the day, they’re not much help. Our dog has long since stopped listening to the endless prattle of a lonely man. He’s gone outside to find some quiet and is wandering somewhere in the woods. Neither the cats nor dog know where my shoes are or what stocks I need to invest in.

Ten years ago next month, in front of a gathering of our closest friends, The Wife and I were made one. Is there any surprise I can’t function without her? From the start in our marriage there have been three “B’s”: beauties, brains and brawn. I have one of the three. The beauty and brains are now gone.

It has been 10,080 minutes since The Wife left. Cooking for two is much harder when there’s only one in the house, but the dog has really loved all the leftovers.

For some of you, it may be no surprise that The Wife has finally left me. Others may ask why it has taken this long.

Fortunately her business trip to three states will soon come to an end and she will return tomorrow night. Unfortunately our reunion will be delayed just a little while longer. Others are in need of her husband. I will be at the fire department until the following morning. There are fires to be put out, people to rescue, and lives to be saved.

Some who see us in public have called us newlyweds. We still find excitement in the simple things of life. Holding hands over afternoon coffee, going for walks around the lake at sundown and stealing upside-down kisses whenever the mood hits us.

Welcome back, my love. I’m now made whole once again.

When you walk in the door, the house will warm once again. I’m sure the cats will leave their sunbeams, pad over to give you welcoming head butts and happy purring sounds. The dog will finally come out of the woods again to celebrate your return.

Me? I will see you in the morning, and you can rescue me. After all, seven days without The Wife does make one week.

Now if you can only help me find where I left my shoes, car keys, and tell me what stocks to invest in all will be right with the world.