Grown children’s lives

Even at 82 when most fathers believe their job is done, my dad is still teaching me. He doesn’t mind my daily phone calls. He listens attentively to all that is going on in my life and hands out advice in his own unique way. In the past I’ve seen it as controlling and prying, but now I know that isn’t what it is. I see it now as love.

He says he likes being kept informed in his children’s lives and helping out when he can. And he wishes all of them would call as much as I do. It’s a way for him to still be a part of our lives, and I really don’t mind. I know he won’t be around forever.

There are three occurrences that can instantly change the direction of one’s life forever. In descending order of importance they are a certified letter, a knock on the door, and the dreaded late night phone call.

Which one of these recently happened to The Wife and yours truly? None of the above. It was the rarity of a fourth life occurrence — an overheard conversation — that sent us on a roller-coaster ride of emotion that’s not over yet.

And my adult child, The Boy, is right in the thick of things. I’ll explain.

Four weeks ago, The Wife and I were at our closing. We were taking advantage of the lower interest rates and refinancing our house. In the middle of their shuffling papers around, I overheard a conversation between the broker and closing attorney. They were talking about the $8,000 the government was giving new home buyers.

After they explained the program, I was stunned. President Obama will give my son, The Boy, $8,000 to move out ... uh ... to buy a house.

That overheard conversation sent us into a tailspin of activity that has been all-consuming.

For the last four weeks The Boy and I have walked through over 20 houses. Nothing we found was to the soon-to-be homeowner’s liking. All the houses were too big, too small, or way too expensive.

We were about to give up, thinking the government was actually going to save $8,000 and that The Boy was never going to move out. Then we walked into number 21. The closing is at the end of this month.

The Boy now calls me once or twice a week. His phone calls aren’t daily. Not yet. That’s about to change when he moves into his house. If not, then maybe when he’s a little older, gets married, and has children of his own.

When the calls come, I’ll listen attentively to all that is going on in his life. I know it will be important that I do. It’s important to me that my dad still does.

Sometimes he will believe that I’m trying to be controlling and prying, but I won’t be. One day he’ll understand. He will come to the realization like I have about my dad. Dads aren’t around forever.

Besides, the daily phone calls will just be my way of keeping informed about what’s going on — a way for me to still be a part of my grown child’s life. Just like my dad is still a part of mine.

Enjoy your new house, son, and if your grass needs to be cut, just call. I’ll be there for you. You can borrow my lawnmower anytime.