Parakeets listen well

He left before we rolled out of bed and rarely returned back home in time for dinner. With a big house, a pretty wife, five kids and a green parakeet that ate hushpuppies off his head, my dad had it all together. I thought he knew all of the answers.

Little did I know he was just stumbling through this life like the rest of us. Life is what happens when we’re waiting around for something more interesting to happen.

Well, last Tuesday, something more interesting happened. We have a new President. He too has a big new house, a pretty wife, and kids. I don’t know if he has a green parakeet that eats hushpuppies, but he should. Take it from me, parakeets may be known for talking, but around our house they were really good listeners too.

Dad used to talk to our parakeet when times got tough or whenever he got mad at one of us kids or frustrated with his job. Come to think about it, Dad talked to that parakeet all the time.

I don’t know if he gets mad at his kids, but it’s a safe bet that President Obama’s new job’s going to be frustrating. Just look at what it did to that other guy. He seemed frustrated all the time.

On second thought, it may be difficult to find a parakeet with high enough security clearance. Besides, he’s supposed to know all the answers already – the new President – not his parakeet.

When Dad got mad at his job, he always blamed someone called “The Man.” He hated paying taxes and complained about it all the time. When one of us needed to be punished, he’d send us to the backyard to get a hickory switch from down around the swamp. Before we moved out of 110 Flamingo Street, we’d just about stripped all of the limbs off those hickory trees.

When President Obama gets mad at his job, he’s not going to be able to blame anyone. He is The Man. If he hates paying taxes, he’s got no one to blame but himself. When one of his kids gets out of line, he can’t even send them to the backyard to get a hickory switch. I’m rather sure there’s no swamp in back of the White House. I think all they have back there are cherry trees.

At the end of the day, Mom made sure Dad had some time to unwind from the chaotic world. None of us talked to Dad until his shoes were off, he’d sunk into the old brown recliner, and he had finished his one adult beverage for the evening. If he didn’t like the news, he’d just cut the television off to get away from it all.

I don’t know if President Obama has moved an old brown recliner into the White House yet. Don’t know if he kicks his shoes off and enjoys an adult beverage at the end of the day. I don’t know if his wife keeps the kids away until he has time to unwind.

What I do know is that unlike my dad, he can’t just cut the television off and get away from it all. Makes me wonder who would want such a job.

We’re all looking for answers and direction from the man in charge. And just like Dad, President Obama has convinced me that he too has the answers, but I do have some reservations.

With no one to blame, no parakeet to talk to, and a backyard void of hickory switches, President Obama is going to be one frustrated man for the next four years. Though as bad as it seems now, it could be worse. When reelected, he will be the father of teenagers.

No telling what my Dad would’ve done with a house full of teenagers — and access to nuclear weapons.