I noticed from the headlines we have a “Black Republican” running for county commissioner. How very nice. Apparently some people took affront to your calling Mr. Wilkerson “black,” and having never met the man, I’m not sure what all the brouhaha is about.

The first question that comes to mind: Is there truth in advertising? Just how “black” is he to warrant the title black?

I had a roommate in college, a man I still consider among my best of friends, whose skin is very black. However, having lived together for a while, I can testify that he was not all black. As a matter of fact, some parts of him were considerably more pale than black, so I hesitated to call him black. Most of the time, I just called him Eddie.

From my experience, I determined that life could be difficult when I wanted to call someone a particular color, and it has held me in good stead.

For instance, I sometimes attend parties where there are Republicans, and I have trouble reconciling with the idea that most Republicans are “white.”

They’re most often various shades of pink, with hues of brown if they’ve taken the winter off to watch poor people in Mexico.

Frequently they turn a rosy red when we discuss politics, or I tell them about the intellectually detached, draft-dodging loser they’ve elected twice, but that might be the alcohol.

Somebody in the paper mentioned “African American,” which is a nice word, except it is two words. The description on its surface seems more meaningful, because we can picture some stereotypical features in our mind based on the moniker.

The trouble is, Moroccan, Algerian, Egyptian, and Northern Sudanese Americans are technically African Americans; as are South African and Zimbabwean expatriates of direct European lineage. These are often some more pink and brown people who aren’t very black.

Another problem arises when some of us believe Darwinian theory of descent with modification, and also have a working knowledge of archeology and anthropology.

We (that’s me, I and us) believe we’re all descended from common African ancestors. The evidence points toward our great kinfolk leaving Africa some 50,000 to 60,000 years ago, crossing Mesopotamia, where it was warm, and ending up in a cave in France, where it was not.

Along the way, Gramma and Grampa managed to kill off the other inhabitants already there whom we call Neandertals, who lived in a cave in Germany and undoubtedly had bad breath.

Now this is where my story comes full circle, because if you know anything about Neandertals, they existed in Europe for about 200,000 years, during which time their tools never seemed to advance.

I may be going out on a limb here, but modern Republicans seem to display similar traits in their steadfast determination to grip the past.

Granted, their brows are not as prominent, and they don’t possess the same massive physique (except Arnold whose brow is prominent), but I can’t help but wonder if perhaps the advancing humans out of Africa didn’t have a little hanky panky in the midst of killing off the poor slow brutes.

However, the same people we call “African Americans,” the ones whose ancestors were liberated out of West Africa and given the chance to die or be enslaved, were not, until recently, exposed to the regressive Neandertal genes.

Yes, they were Republicans back when Republicans were smart, but became suddenly disenchanted with the clawing for Neandertal votes back in the late ‘40s, ‘50s and ‘60s, and became Democrats.

So, to this day, most of the black, but not all over, African Americans, not originally from northern or southern Africa whose ancestors were stolen into chattel slavery, don’t belong to the party that freed them.

Back to Darwin: Descent through modification. Regressive genes turn brown eyes to blue-eyed grandchildren, smart grandparents to regressive Republican grandchildren. Only time and circumstances determine dominance.

(P.S. Tell Terry Garlock to find a sense of humor if he intends to serve tripe. Also, he might actually read a book or two about Vietnam, and give back the Cliff Notes. And citizenship is defined by the 14th amendment to the Constitution, not by statue.)

Timothy J. Parker
Peachtree City, Ga.

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