Wouldn’t it be great if someone other than the media-razzi could decide who gets to be famous, and who gets to stay famous? We could set up some rules for this, and I’m here to help.
First of all, you don’t get to be a celebrity without some sort of achievement or skills. We‘ll call this the Kevin Federline rule. No more marrying someone talented, and presuming that the world cares about you and your lack of talent.
Another rule: If your parents were talented or productive or made lots of money in some worldly endeavor, you don’t automatically get a free pass to celebrity. (This would have to be the Paris Hilton rule.)
The beauty of this rule is that it works well for politicians, too. It cuts across all political lines, eliminating future Kennedys and Bushes from squeezing out new people that want to run for public office. (Of course, term limits might help too, but that’s just crazy talk, right?)
Here’s a thought: If you play in a rock band, you get a one-time pass at celebrity (I have a soft spot for musicians) but if and only if your band makes money, produces music and/or performs live. This is not a lifetime ticket to notoriety.
This would, of course, be the Ozzy Osbourne rule. The Sharon Osbourne corollary is that no one in your family is necessarily interesting either. Leave them at home and move on and out of our lives.
Models and truly attractive people are free to make a living and be famous for doing that if they so choose. But they don‘t get to try their hand at acting or singing on the national public stage unless they’ve paid some dues in those fields.
This rule could be named after many, but Pam Anderson comes quickly to mind. You may say relevance is in the eye of the TV viewer, but is anyone really watching “Stacked” because of the scintillating dialogue?
What about reality TV “stars“? They haven’t really paid any dues either, have they? To them I say, “Sorry, but once you’re voted off the island, consider yourself voted out of the public eye.“
Being famous doesn‘t necessarily mean you‘re good, and being good doesn’t always make someone famous. The TV networks and newspapers and Internet continue to try to push beautiful people on us. But their self-interest in selling product is transparent.
At the end of the day, 15 minutes of fame may be a metaphor, but everyone understands that washed up is washed up. Don’t go away mad, just go away.
Ray Gravelle
Fayetteville, Ga.