What if your Christmas isn’t so merry?

Christmas can be one of the toughest times of the year for not so few people. It can be very sad, depressing, and filled with all kinds of grief. Many people feel a deep sense of guilt because they don’t feel merry, bright, and full of good cheer. They ask themselves, “What’s wrong with me that I am not in the spirit of the season?”

Well, my wife and I were doing some late Christmas shopping this past weekend and upon reflection, I did not see a whole lot of smiles, good cheer, and festive spirits. I saw people buying merchandise that they hoped will magically transform relationships to a higher, brighter level.

I believe the angels making the announcement to those lowly shepherds on that night of the birth of Jesus raised the expectation to a level that just can’t be met by us mere humans. They sang that glorious song as they a told the shepherds of the birth of the Messiah in Bethlehem.

And of course, commercial interests raise expectations in order to sell more merchandise. They convince us that to be happy and to make others happy, you must buy their products. Happiness, as we all well know, can’t be bought, sold, or given. Happiness, and its attendant sense of peace, is something that comes from somewhere deep within us.

I think I am on safe ground to say that it’s okay for people to grieve at Christmas as well as be merry. Christmas is all about incarnation. That God wrapped himself in human flesh and showed up in a manger outback. Jesus’ life was not all merry. In fact, the Bible portrays him as a “man of sorrows.”

To the many who feel particular pain at this particular time of the year, I can say that the child of Bethlehem would understand. You may be experiencing the first Christmas without your husband, wife, mother, father, or even child. How can you be merry the whole time? Not many people want to take the time to understand your sorrow, your special wounded heart. But, the child of Bethlehem hears your cry.

So, hang on during these “festive” days when it seems the whole world is singing and making joyful revelry. Under the mask of smiles, there are other hearts hurting just like you.

This Christmas give yourself freely and fully the gift of understanding — understand that it’s okay not to be merry all the time. One of the gifts brought by the magi from the East was myrrh: John Henry Hopkins wrote the words, “Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume breathes a life of gathering gloom — sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying...”

God bless you this Christmas. Take care. Love up on yourself. God surely loves you!