Mama’s good life

Mama said the most wonderful thing recently. What she said is something I wish I could hear from the mouths of everyone I care about.

“I’ve had the best life,” she commented in an out-of-the-blue statement. She smiled sweetly. “I know my time on earth is dwindling down but I wouldn’t change one iota about my life. It’s exactly what I wanted.”

Now Mama’s life, on any scale of measurement, has not been grand. It has been as a simple as a cotton gingham dress. There have been few vacations, store-bought clothes or new cars. Her memories don’t include any historical moments or out-of-the-ordinary adventures. It has been as mundane of an existence as any woman of the rural South could ever know.

Still, she has loved it and prized it mightily. What more can you ask?

She’s had abundance of what everyone who lives the happiest lives have – she has known love as mighty as the Mississippi and as strong as the four winds that blow in unison.

“I married the love of my life and had him for 56 years. No woman has ever been loved more than me,” she continued. “I know I ain’t had no fancy life but I’ve had exactly all I wanted. I just wanted to be a wife and a mama and that’s what the Good Lord allowed me to be. I’ve been blessed.”

It brought me up short and reminded me that contentment lies in the heart and can be found in the simplest of lives.

“I’m proud for the life you have,” she said. “But you couldn’t be one bit happier than I’ve been all these years. And you know me. Basically, I just stayed at home and took care of things around there except for church on Sunday.”

A while back, a long-time friend passed away. I had visited with him on his terrace shortly before death had plucked at his ear and summoned him. By accounts of earthly measurement, he was impeccably successful. His career had been stellar and he had shared generously with those around him.

But as death eased with certainty toward him, he had regrets.

“I’ve made a lot of money,” he said with a shrug. “Now, I’m leaving it for the vultures to fight over. All that money can’t heal my body or bring forth the peace of a satisfied man.”

My eyes watered as I studied the regret and disappointment in his faded eyes. I knew he had spent years chasing success as a way of covering up for the personal happiness he neglected.

“What’s your biggest regret?” I asked because we were close enough that I knew he’d tell me. In fact, I felt he needed to get it off his chest.

He swallowed hard and looked away, focusing on a hawk that coasted lazily through the blue sky. He sighed and I could hear the heartbreak in that deep breath. “I let the woman I love get away. Pretended it didn’t matter. That as long as I could make money, I could have anything I wanted on earth and be happy.” He shook his head. “What a fool was I.”

I wanted to cry but for his downtrodden sake, I didn’t. He turned his eyes to me. “Now you listen to me: don’t let that happen to you. Nothing’s more important than love. No amount of money or success can equal it.”

Funny, but that’s exactly what Mama, in her own way, said, too. While my friend couldn’t take his money to the grave, Mama will take that love with her. And, she’ll find more of it waiting for her on the other side.

Good choice, Mama.