By Greg Moffatt
Special to The Citizen

About ten years ago my family was out walking along the country road in front of our home. My oldest daughter was only eight and she was in the lead with our beagle on a leash in front of her. In a moment time seemed to slow down as many things happened at once. I saw the dog jump, my daughter scream and a huge copperhead wriggling beneath her feet. Before I had time to even utter a word, the snake slithered off the road and everyone was fine.

Later that evening as I was preparing for bed, I realized that we could easily have been spending the night in the hospital or maybe even planning a funeral. Had the snake bitten my daughter, at the very least she would have had to endure many painful days recovering. Fortunately not even our dog was hurt. Instead, as I prepared for bed that night the children were all comfortably asleep in their beds, our beagle was at his post guarding our home, the night was quiet and all was well (except for the snake, which I shot).
Then about four years ago my son and I were in an auto accident. My little convertible was rear-ended and pushed into oncoming traffic on a busy highway. A huge truck hit us head on.

When my car finally stopped spinning, I was afraid to look in the passenger's seat - afraid it would be empty. Instead, my son, eyes as wide as saucers, looked back at me and began to cry. It was a cry of fear, not injury. He had escaped that devastating accident literally without a scratch.

For weeks I was nearly sick to my stomach when I thought about what could have been. How my little six-year-old could have easily been thrown from my car or how the truck could have run over the top of my car instead of spinning it out of the way. I thought about how my son's side of the car could have taken the brunt of the collision instead of mine or what my family might have endured if I had been killed.

I've spent much of my research time the past fifteen years examining cases where things went wrong - where people endured traumatic events like murder, rape, devastating personal injury and such. While these cases are tragic, what I have come to understand and what research is beginning to show is that a sense of gratitude helps people overcome trauma.

Gratitude was once thought to be either an archaic holdover from the days of chivalry or something exclusive to religion. Psychologists, however, are beginning to recognize that gratitude not only helps people recover from trauma, but also helps people live happier lives. It appears that what most of our parents taught us was right. Be thankful for what you have and you will be a happier person.

We take for granted all the things that don't ever happen. All the times we arrive at our destination after a long trip without an accident, flat tire, or car trouble. We don't think much about all the diseases our
children never catch and we take for granted all the days that they arrive safely at school and return safely home.

We take for granted that our spouses (who may often irritate us) are the very people we would desperately miss if something happened to them. We fail to recognize all the trips we take to the city where we are not robbed, assaulted, or harassed and we return to our houses to find our possessions right where we left them. No fire has destroyed our home and no hurricane or tornado has blown its wall apart. The list could go on.

My commentary here is not meant to discount the fact that bad things happen. Of course they do, but for most of us, bad things grab our attention a lot faster and for a lot longer than the many good things we don't even notice. Next time you are frustrated with your family, instead of thinking about what you wish were so, think about what IS so. Think about what could have been and how fortunate you are to be you.

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