Two cautionary tales

A recent article from the anthropology department said that human beings, and only human beings, do good things for others who will never know from whom the largesse came.

Think of donating blood or organs, or contributing to the staggering urban renewal projects left by Hurricane Katrina, or giving to the regular drives of The Salvation Army – we do these things for people we have never met and who have no idea who we are.

But chimpanzees, our nearest relatives on the family tree? As closely related as chimps are to us, researchers have found that they will be helpful or generous only if they are rewarded for it.

Sad to say, a few so-called humans have not fallen far enough from the tree. They might better be described as chimpanzees with a motive….

On the way home from exercise class a week or two ago, one of the passengers in my car was clicking off the causes to which she contributes. This time of year, hardly a day goes by that she doesn’t get either a phone call or mail solicitation allegedly to benefit someone, somewhere.

“I give only to the Salvation Army and to our own fire or police departments when they call,” she said, apologetically. She is by no means wealthy and said she wishes she could do more.

Ping! A light went on in my head. Our fire department does not – ever – make telephone solicitations, nor have we received gifts from any organization purporting to be raising money for us. I double-checked when I got home, and Assistant Chief Ed Eiswerth said I was right.

“We do the pumpkin sale and the Haunted House at Halloween for fund-raising, and our annual newsletter offers another opportunity for donations,” Eiswerth said.

Fire Chief Stony Lohr also said unequivocally: “We do not solicit funds by telephone.” Fund-raising companies typically keep 80 to 90 percent of the proceeds with the calling company. “These are scams until proven otherwise,” he added.

People who get these calls should ask for the organization’s name, where the money goes, whatever info they can, and pass on that information to Chief Lohr.

The fire department has also done boot drives on behalf of the Georgia Firefighter’s Burn Foundation and the American Red Cross, the latter recently in support of Hurricane Katrina Relief. “We raised more than $17,000 locally, and combined with other departments in the Georgia Mutual Aid Group, were able to present the American Red Cross a check for $326,000,” he said.

The young woman who does her best to make my hair look good told me a chilling tale last week. She got a call from a representative of a major airline who began asking her questions about her husband’s American Express card. My friend stopped her and handed the phone to her husband whose card it was.

First the caller confirmed his name and the account numbers on the card. Then she told him that two passengers had used it to book a flight from Flint, Mi., to Houston, where the World Series was under way.

“Where are they now?” my friend’s husband asked.

“They’re in the air right now and will be landing here in Atlanta in a few minutes,” the representative replied.

“What happens now?” the cardholder inquired.

“If they make good and pay for the flight, we have to let them go,” came the reply. “If you want to press charges, you’ll have to come up here and handle that yourself. If not, they’ll be free to go.”

And that’s what happened. The airline was satisfied, my friend’s husband was not, AmEx issued him a new card, and two thieves walked to the gate where their flight to Houston would soon depart.

Seems to me a crime was committed somewhere in this story, but maybe not. Or was a private citizen supposed to drive from Peachtree City to the airport, park (in the hour lot?), run in, subject himself to security, hope the trains are running, then dash down a half-mile concourse to find two crooks looking at their watches and wondering if they’d make their flight?

And speaking of security…. ?