Have I used that headline before? It seems really familiar. Maybe some other critic has used it at some other time. Who knows and who cares? If it’s a cliché, it deserves to be associated with this movie, which was fairly unoriginal and really not funny.

You see, kids these days are often the products of broken homes (you laughing yet?) and a bunch of them get stuck in a midwestern airport on Christmas Eve while being shuttled to their non-custodial parents. The main kids in this film are the ones who dare to break out of an unaccompanied minor holding tank type room. Upon their capture by a tyrannical airport manager, played by Lewis Black, and some bumbling guards, these kids band together to celebrate Christmas and try to reach one of their siblings who has gone to a local hotel with the kids who didn’t try to escape.

I know what you’re thinking, but no, I don’t think this is based on a true story.

The kids, with the exception of Tyler James Williams (“Everybody Hates Chris”), are super-bland. They are supposed to represent the different strata of the childhood caste system, like a younger, fresher version of “The Breakfast Club,” but they fail. They are kind of like mannequins and little attention is paid to their stories. The potential for a comedy that has something to say is there, but instead the viewer gets treated to chase scenes in an airport. Hooray!

Here’s what really sticks in my craw with this movie. There are lots of great cameos from wonderful comedic actors. People from “The Office,” The Daily Show,” “The Kids in the Hall,” and “Arrested Development” show up and even they don’t have enough to do to warrant any solid, holiday themed laughs. Why weren’t the guys from “The Kids in the Hall,” who played guards late in the movie, playing guards the whole way? Couldn’t we get more Rob Corddry as the eco-friendly dad and less Wilmer Valderrama as the voice of reason at the airport.

The Christmas stuff is fine and the family message rings true, but a lot of the movie feels rushed and thrown together. “The Breakfast Club” it ain’t. The characters in that movie were o.k. to be stuck in a room. They were allowed to breathe and the humor came out of their interactions, not from being stuck in a piece of baggage that travels a zany series of conveyor belts.

You are way better off renting a holiday film and watching it from the comfort of your own home.

*1/2

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