Vanity, thy name is my friend

My friends, I will admit, are vain. That’s because chicks of a feather flock together.

Since you tend to group with similar personalities, I run with a pretty high maintenance bunch.

The exception being Claudette who is an intriguing half-bred of tomboy meets diva. While the other divas will scour magazines for the latest fashions, hair tips and make-up trends, Claudette will simply wait until someone convinces her that her wardrobe needs an updating though she has waited long enough that leggings have finally returned.

“See,” she says proudly. “I was smart not to throw ‘em out.”

It is a steady stream of dialogue between all of us about things concerning hair, make-up, manicures, pedicures, clothes, exercise, weight and diets, which, by the way, is always the most popular subject.

One evening over dinner as we whined over pounds gained and diets lost, I asked the girls, “If you had the choice of being given one million dollars but it meant you had to be 35 pounds overweight for the rest of your life or to be the perfect weight forever, which would you choose?”

I would like to say – or at least I think I would – that it took the girls some thinking to make that decision. But it did not. Without a blink of one mascara-coated eyelash, seven women, in rapid-fire order one after another, said firmly, “The perfect weight, hands down. No choice.”

“Really?” I asked my niece Nicole, the one person who is the most like me in this world. She is a shrewd money-manager who shops for discounts, price compares and just does not believe in wasting a penny.

“Absolutely,” she replied. “It would be the biggest load off my mind. I’m tired of worrying with it.”

“You can always make money,” Debbie pointed out. “But nothing is more important than the way you feel about yourself. A strong self-confidence enables you to feel more powerful which will lead you to greater success and therefore, more money. It’s a no-brainer.”

“I wouldn’t want all the money in the world if I couldn’t use it to buy the clothes I want,” Karen said. “If I were 35 pounds overweight, I wouldn’t be interested in buying clothes because I don’t think I’d care that much how I dressed. I’d be miserable with myself.”

In full disclosure, I’ll tell you that I voted with the girls quicker than it would take you to say, “Manolo Blahnik.”

I’ve thought a lot about that conversation since that evening and I realized that the girls, as usual, were wiser and shrewder than you might think. See, the answer their womanly wiles led them to choose could lead them to having it all, money included.

I’ll speak solely for the girls and me. We spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about, pondering, fretting over and discussing weight and exercise. It is on our minds every day, hanging around intrusively like an unwelcome suitor who refuses to go away. There is never a time that any of us gather together that the issue doesn’t force its way into the conversation. If we took that time and energy and used it to make money, we’d make way more than a million dollars.

In true Southern women style, we could have it all. Like Debbie said, “It’s a no-brainer.”

Meanwhile, I’ll admit that we’re vain. But at least, we’re not greedy.