By BILLY MURPHY
Contributing Writer

Merry Christmas. Here are some of the highlights of Julie, Billy, Olivia (4 1/2) and Davis (22 months) from this past year.

January started on an interesting note with ever-inquisitive Olivia asking, “Mommy, what does Daddy do for a living?” Julie tried to explain as best she could only to be interrupted by a crying Olivia who says, “Why can't he be a Delta pilot like everybody else?”

Davis started to walk in February right at his first birthday. But shortly thereafter gave it up when he saw a “Dateline” Special on infant shin splints. He would further get hooked on watching “Dateline” and proceeded to cry anytime he heard the words “cholesterol,” “hotel room mites,” and “driver-side air bags” and his first words would be “Jane Pauley, hot babe.”

The whole family took a little trip to the zoo in the warming month of March. Olivia is so cute. She almost got us all in trouble when she didn't adhere to the “Do Not Feed the Animals” sign. After all, she can't read. And besides, they never should have let those ducks roam so close to the lion cages.

April Fool's Day was a hoot at the Murphy household when we got up in the wee hours of the morning and called my mom in South Carolina and took turns pretending to be IRS auditors, telling her we had lost her records for the past seven years and we needed full copies and all original receipts. An hour later we called to yell, “April fool!” only to have my sister answer the phone saying she had to pick up my mom a prescription of Valium.

May couldn't have been any more educational. A field trip to the library provided quite a learning encounter; the first book, that first library card, an initial experience that is sure to be the beginning of mental enrichment beyond compare. Julie beamed with pride to know she had introduced me to this experience.

The summer started with a bang with the first dip in Grandma's new swimming pool. Davis loves the water and Olivia likes to play pretend. Her favorite game is to play “poacher and baby seal” in which she gets me to splash up on the bank and then proceeds to beat me senseless with a plastic baseball bat. The rest of the summer was a blur — to me, anyway.

September was a refreshing time with Olivia going back to preschool. We had trouble getting her to go to school solo, leaving behind her endless array of stuffed animals, moveable dinosaurs and massive collection of Keana Reeves action figures. Davis has made incredible strides in his communication skills, repeatedly saying, “I want that,” every time a “La Femme Nikita” commercial comes on.

November was a month Julie and Billy spent trying to recall, over and over, something they forgot. They did word associations, went alphabetically, they even drank large doses of Yoo Hoos. (Yoo Hoos don't really help with recall but the sugar high makes you not care). Then in the middle of the night Billy sat up in bed and remembered. They forgot October.

Well, it's finally December and time to celebrate the last 20 or so days before all the noise, yelling, screaming and brawling. That's right, before the Presidential campaign commercials start in January.

[Visit Billy Murphy's website at http://billymurphy.homepage.com.]

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