Death knocks on life's door. Nobody wants to open it. But, for sure, he keeps knocking. Surer than taxes. At least the tax on groceries is gone. Not death.

The recent death of three Fayette teens has brought death to our front pages and high school hallways. Death is neither a trick nor a treat. It's a truth.

Death sets in motion the process of grief management. Like all management assignments, one can be laissez-faire, middle of the road, or proactive. The best approach to dealing with death is proactive. Otherwise, there's the very live possibility that grief deferred will result in greater grief down the road.

If you have suffered the death of a family member or a very close friend, you should talk about it with those who love you. This is one of the significant misunderstandings in grief recovery. Our culture does not like to talk about death. Therefore, the culture "thinks" that the less you talk about it, the better you will be. Wrong!

It's difficult. But, it's the best therapy possible. Talk to your friends and family about your husband, wife, son, daughter, mother, or father who died. Tell them how he or she died. Tell them what you felt as he or she was dying. Tell them how you feel now since the death. Tell them how your perspectives toward life and death have changed since opening that door.

But, you ask, "Doesn't anybody really care how I feel?" The answer, "Not many people really do." Your close friends and family members, however, should and probably do care enough to listen.

So, if you have a friend or family member who has experienced the death of a significant other, give them your most precious possession: a listening ear. You don't have to become an expert in grief to facilitate grief resolution. Listen with your heart. Let them cry. Don't try to fix anything, just listen.

Ask exploratory questions like: What have your days been like since he/she died? What's been the hardest thing to do? How have your feelings changed? Have you been to the cemetery? What are you going to do Thanksgiving and Christmas?

The real sad reality is that many people have neither family or friends who will take the risk. That's where a more formal Grief Recovery Group becomes a helpful resource. But a visit from Sunday School friends can serve the same purpose, if talking about handling death, not just trivial things.

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