| ||
Wednesday, Aug. 17, 2005 | ||
What do you think of this story? Bad Links? | Private parts, public humiliationDeuce Bigalow: European GigoloHalf a star Is it really necessary that I inform the movie-going public about the content and quality of the latest Rob Schneider cinematic catastrophe? Probably not, but I will anyway. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, is a difficult film. Difficult to watch, Difficult to stomach, and unfortunately, difficult to forget. The presence of Rob Schneider alone is enough to put you off your popcorn. Has there ever been a less appealing actor foisted on the public? I cant think of one. Schneider looks as if he stowed away on the boat over to Amsterdam (where this god awful movie takes place) and then had to sleep on the street. His bug-eyed creepiness and skanky hairdo leaves me feeling unclean, as do many of the tasteless sight gags in this movie. I laughed a few times at the proceedings against my better judgment. However, this is a film that you really shouldnt see with anyone (if you see it at all) unless its with someone from your high school days. Thats because the humor is beyond sophomoric. Its freshman! The premise centers on a series of male prostitute murders in Europe, mostly Amsterdam. Schneider is persuaded to fly there by his ex-pimp, T. J. Hicks (Eddie Griffin) after being the cause of an Oceanside accident involving blind people and dolphins. Its a sick joke that gets laughs for all the wrong reasons. Once safely ensconced on Hicks Mac-daddy boat, a sort of seafaring pimp-mobile covered in purple crushed velvet, Deuce gets a tour of Amsterdams freewheeling ways. After the most successful of the male prostitutes is murdered, Deuce and Hicks set out to find the killer, so that Hicks can flourish once again as the worlds sweetest pimp. What follows are a series of vignettes involving former clients of the murdered suspect. These are not regular women though. They are either deformed or disgusting in some sad way. Deuce deduces nothing from these encounters, but he does help them with the odd makeover. He helps a hunchback cleverly hide her hump with a faked backpack. He dates one woman who is covered in filth and then pushes her into the canal as he scrubs her with a brush. Out pops a bathing beauty! He dates a woman wearing a veil to conceal a very naughty nose. He takes her to a plastic surgeon and she comes out with bigger breasts. How droll. Theres more to this stupid movie involving a girl with OCD that Deuce falls in love with, and another date with a woman who has had a tracheotomy. Its just more excuses for sick sight gags. When Deuce runs out of deformed women, the male genitalia jokes come flying at you. And if this werent all bad enough, there is a running gag involving the pimp, Hicks, who keeps being caught in compromising situations with dead men. He isnt worried about being thought of as a killer, only about being considered gay. Is this supposed to be funny? Well, its not. Maybe we are expected to see it all as some sort of tongue-in-cheek comment on modern times. The problem is that the movie isnt up to par with any sort of socially relevant comedy. Its a desperate attempt to prolong a movie career that should have never begun in the first place. Rob Schneider wasnt that funny when he was on Saturday Night Live and hes even less funny on the big screen. Isnt it bad enough that we have Adam Sandler to contend with? Do we really need two bad comedians plaguing our theaters?
| |
Copyright 2005-Fayette Publishing, Inc. |