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Bad mouthing good intentions

Anyone who knows me knows that I really don’t give two shakes about anything unless it involves pretentious, overwrought artistic expressions by people no-one has ever heard of. Even though I eventually deign to listen to, say, the new Coldplay (which, by the way is another gorgeous entry for the British quartet), I rarely admit to it.

So when someone whose opinion I respect in a marginal way told me the band was going to be part of the “Live-8” concert held last weekend, I decided to Tivo it and wade through the eight hours of slop surrounding their set. When I made it to the group’s one broadcast song, I was disappointed to see that they were being presented as Richard Ashcroft’s back-up band. The ex-Verve lead man launched into his “Bittersweet Symphony” single, a lush pop ballad with a heavy string hook. As I zipped through the rest of the show, it just got lamer and lamer.

By the end of it, as the reunited Pink Floyd were rudely interrupted so that the “trendies” with the microphones could spout their two cents worth of knowledge about the event, I suddenly remembered what a mess MTV had become since its inception 25 years ago. Sure, they were broadcasting what seemed like a very important cultural event for the entire free world, but it had the quality of Downtown Julie Brown lost in Midtown. “Wubba Wubba Wubba!”

In the scheme of things, MTV is not all that important. I haven’t stopped on that channel in years. What I found more disturbing than the pseudo-hip corporate disaster that one of my favorite channels had turned into was the silly politics surrounding Sir Bob Geldof’s latest brainchild.

Live 8, a worldwide concert designed to heighten poverty awareness in Africa to those about to attend the G8 summit held in Perthshire, Scotland, touched off a chain of misguided emotions and insensitive remarks.

Eight cities took part in the event from London to Rome to Berlin to Paris to Philadelphia to Johannesburg as well as cities in Canada and Japan. Here is a massive group effort to help a continent in trouble, yet complaints about artist lineups and the promoter’s supposed intent reveal the selfishness and self-serving attitudes of people who are obviously angry because they didn’t think of it first.

One remark from a London based group called Black Information Link (too obscure for me!) described the event in Hyde Park as ”hideously white.” Geldof may be an over-the -hill, puffy and pale, disheveled rock icon in a bad hat, but his intent seems genuine.

Reference was made to the vast wealth of many of the artists performing with some suggestion that they should bankroll the feeding of the world’s poor themselves. If that’s the case, then there are a lot of other overpaid celebrities that need to chip in. At least Geldof and his band of do-gooders attempted to put on an entertaining show while they got their message out.

I don’t see that anyone outside the Live 8 concert crew should have any right to criticize who played what where. They should be grateful that it was being done at all. It’s kind of like complaining that the heart transplant you are getting isn’t symmetrical enough.

Even the “gift bags” that the artist received for performing were sneered at. How dare they walk away with $3,000 worth of “goodies!” Doesn’t the average concertgoer understand how stardom works? Let them have their stuff. How selfless do they have to be? It’s irrelevant.

Even though it came across a little too packaged, the “Make Poverty History” slogan was the important message of the day. Some people seemed to think the message should have been “You have too much money…give me some!”

I’m not sure how much good something like benefit concerts actually do anyway. It doesn’t change corrupt regimes or wipe out dirty politics. It does make for warm and fuzzy TV specials. On the other hand, the attention span of today’s viewers has shrunk to just under five seconds. That’s why the slogan is so important. If you pummel people long enough with an idea, any idea, they will remember it.

Personally, I can barely remember what I did this morning. I do remember rolling my eyes a lot as I fast-forwarded through Bon Jovi and Will Smith and Madonna and U2 and Green Day and Snoop Dogg and a bunch of other people I pretty much ignore on a daily basis. But hey, more power to them for being a part of Live 8 and for helping to raise awareness. It’s nice to know that their mediocrity is good for something.

MTV may have botched the coverage with inane chatter and truncated performances, but at least it wasn’t their regular innocuous fare. I didn’t really expect that much from them and they didn’t disappoint. My idea of what a music television station should be has something to do with music videos. I know that seems weird these days. I watch videos online now. The good stuff is out there. You just have to look for it.

By the way, if you really want a line-up for drastic change, try this: Crass, Dead Kennedys, Atari Teenage Riot, The Boredoms, Bad Brains, Stereolab, The Michelle Gun Elephant and of course, The Last. Now I’d go to that!