“My Eyes!”

Granted, I didn’t see every movie that came out in 2004 (even though it feels like I did.) I have shuffled and reshuffled the pile of titles I did manage to get to. I am now satisfied with the results and ready to let it go so that I can do it all over again in the coming year. Here, for better or worse, are my picks for the 10 best and worst 5 films of the past year.

First the best:

10. Shaun Of The Dead – Just when you though nothing else could be wrung from the zombie genre, along comes one of the funniest and most clever films to eat up the screen in a long time. This is a living dead movie with heart. Great writing and a wonderful cast of Cockney rejects are masterfully directed through one crazy scene after the next.

9. Kill Bill 2 – I waited to see the Kill Bill movies until the second one came out, stopping at Movies 10 to see the first one and then on to Tinseltown for the newest one. I didn’t plan it that way, but the overall effect was worth the wait. The second installment delivers on the promise of the first film by delving deeper into character and story while managing to wreak as much havoc as the first. Quentin Tarentino proves once again that he’s still got it.

8. The Incredibles – Here’s a movie that actually lives up to its title. The voiceovers by Craig T. Nelson and Holly Hunter are just the icing on a very large cake. This is the ultimate family film with lots of humor, action, and warmth to go around. Pixar Studios outdoes themselves with this eye-popping adventure. For once, I am looking forward to the sequel.

7. Tarnation – Definitely the cheapest movie made in 2004 at just under $400, this painfully real documentary tells the director’s story in a mind-blowing visual autobiography unlike anything before it. Totally original and completely riveting, “Tarnation” brings the viewer in close for a look at one family’s strange true world. It’s like Augusten Burroughs’s “Running With Scissors” for the art house set.

6. Team America: World Police – No film made me laugh harder or more jealous wishing I had thought of it first. Trey Parker and Matt Stone of “South Park” fame resurrect the silly looking “Super Marionation” technique to have a go at current events and Hollywood. Complete with musical outbursts and questionable material, even for puppets, this is not for children.

5. Open Water – For a film that clocks in just over 80 minutes, this little gem packs a real punch. The simple story of a couple’s terrifying experience after being left behind by a scuba touring boat is almost too much to take. This is like a very well crafted short story for the screen. The events reverberate long after you have left the theatre. Think of “Jaws” with something really heavy to say.

4. Fahrenheit 911 – Michael Moore, the man some Americans love to hate or love to love, sticks his big nose in where it doesn’t belong once again. Purported to have been made to sabotage the presidential election, 911 is a controversial attack on the Bush administration that will have smoke coming out of your ears no matter which side of the fence you are on. Thought provoking doesn’t begin to describe it.

3. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind – Jim Carrey makes another serious attempt at drama and delivers in this metaphysical exploration of memories both good and bad. The convoluted plot keeps things jumping throughout and leaves the viewers mind a little less than smudge-free. A great supporting cast helps things along even though you are never quite sure where you are going.

2. Sideways – The most pleasant surprise of the year by far, Paul Giamatti gives another deft performance as the ultimate midlife sad sack as he spends a week with his soon to be married buddy Thomas Hayden Church. Humor and pathos are mixed together with great care in a film that is nearly perfect in every way. Beautifully shot in California wine country from the same director who gave us the highly underrated “Citizen Ruth.”

1. Dogville – Yeah, I know Rex Reed put this on his worst film list, but how can you take a guy seriously whose one foray into acting produced the classic turkey, “Myra Breckenridge?” You can’t. Therefore, I present my gushing review for the best film of 2004, “Dogville.”

Perhaps it’s slow and a little long, but all good things come to those who wait. Filmed on a soundstage where the streets and structures of the town are simply outlined with tape on the floor, Dogville evolves into a morality play with very sharp teeth. Nicole Kidman plays a girl on the run in the depression era. At first she is accepted into the protective world of the small mountain town, but as days pass, something slowly changes the outlook of each of the townspeople. The unmasking of humanity is at the heart of this cautionary tale. With few props to distract form the actors, “Dogville” concentrates on characters, many of whom we may recognize from our everyday lives.

I must admit when I first saw still shots from this movie I was not too thrilled. It looked sort of weird. Twenty minutes into the film I was hooked. Where “Open Water” was like a great short story on the big screen, “Dogville” is a powerful novel in the tradition of “Ethan Frome” and “An American Tragedy.”

You may not like what you see these people do, but you will understand it all too well. This is the kind of movie going experience that engenders lengthy discussion afterwards, and for me, those are always the best films to see.

On the lighter side of the things there are still the worst films of the year to ponder. And though there were many contenders, I will spare you the full list and give you the final five as I work my way to the bottom of the barrel.

5. Exorcist: The Beginning – I think the title says it all. Here’s more mumbo jumbo about demon possession that lost its charm years ago. When will these people learn that once you’ve seen someone spin their head around and spit pea soup that it’s over?

4. Alien Vs. Predator – Another bad idea from Hollywood. AVP, as it is known by the sci-fi geeks, is dumb, boring, annoying, stupid and about 90 minutes too long. This begs the question, “Who comes up with this junk?”

3. The Ladykillers – Tom Hanks embarrasses not only himself, but me in this remake of the classic British dark comedy. What a mess! If I didn’t have to write a review for this Coen Brothers misfire, I would have walked out. I can still hear Hanks sniveling accent in my head. The horror! The horror!

2. The Passion Of The Christ – The original guilt trip comes to the big screen in Hateful-vision! Mel Gibson goes beyond the pale when he directs his love letter to Christianity. The only thing missing from this screening were the little eyelid holders that Alex wore in “A Clockwork Orange.”

1. The Cookout – Nothing, not even Tom Hanks accent or Mel Gibson’s ego were as bad as this waste of time. Truly this is 90 minutes of my life I will never get back. Shameless on so many levels, it’s hard to describe. Some movies are so bad they are good. This is so bad that it’s the worst movie of the year!