Sunday, Dec. 19, 2004

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Dear Father Paul: I sometimes feel very inadequate because I am not ordained. There is so much that I want to do for the Lord, but I hold back because I am not ordained. — Bob, Fayetteville.

Dear Bob: Don't hold back another day! I don't want to minimize being ordained, but there are very few things that an ordained minister can do that you can't do as a member of the laity. Your job, as a lay person, is to represent Christ and his church; to bear witness of him wherever you are; and, according to the giftings that the Lord has given you, carry on Christ's work of reconciliation in the world and take your place in the life, worship and work of the church.

Wow! If you do all these things it should keep you busy for about the next 100 years or so! Perhaps God is calling you into the ordained ministry. You should sit down with your pastor and prayerfully explore this.

Dear Father Paul: My dad and I do not get along too well. He recently told me that I do not "honor" he and my mom and that this displeases God. His words hurt, but I have to admit (if only to myself) that he is right. I am 32 years old, unmarried, with a good job. My question is,how do I honor my parents? — Adam, no city.

Dear Adam: Honoring your parents is not optional; it is the fifth out of the Ten Commandments given by God to mankind. It is the only one of the commandments with a promise: long life to those who follow it.

I like to look at honoring your parents by associating honoring them with the three stages of life that we all go through. First, when we are children and teens, we honor our parents by obeying them, period. No whining, no back talk. We obey them. Second, when we become adults, we honor our parents by not being too busy to spend time with them. Calling regularly with a "Hey dad, I was thinking of you, how are you doing?" is great. Remember, spending time with them is the key. Being sure to thank them for all they have done for us is a way of honoring them too. Asking their advice honors them as well. As I grew older I was amazed at my father's wisdom. Third, when we become older adults, and our parents are in advanced age, we honor them by simply taking care of them (sometimes even) as much as they once took care of us when we were children. This means we simply take on the responsibility for them, seeing that their needs are met, if you will.

Add to these a good measure of love, generously expressed, and I think you'll be pretty close to meeting God's commandment so far as honoring your parents is concerned.

Dear Father Paul: How do you and your family celebrate Christmas? — Ellen, Tyrone.

Dear Ellen: First, we try very hard (and it isn't easy in our increasingly secular society) to, "keep Jesus as the reason for the season." Don't get me wrong, we love Christmas trees, caroles, parties and Santa, but first and foremost Christmas should be the celebration of Jesus' birthday.

The kids are gone now, with families of their own, so Judy and I usually have an early dinner on Christmas eve, then we attend a Christmas eve church service. We really enjoy this a lot. I know lots of people do not go to church on Christmas eve because they are not regular churchgoers and they think because of this they would somehow feel out of place or unwelcome. Nothing could be further from the truth! In fact I'll bet every parent would "welcome with open arms" their child who showed up at home on Christmas after a long absence. God is our Heavenly Father, and he's just like that about us, waiting for us to come home. Many of the churches in our area have Christmas eve services, check the paper.

After church, we come home light a fire in the fireplace, turn on some Christmas music, have some dessert and coffee and open our presents to each other. On Christmas day our whole family (including great-grandparents) get together for a big dinner at our daughter's home in Kennesaw. Pretty traditional, but what a blessed time Christmas is!

May I take this opportunity to wish you Ellen, and everyone reading this column, a blessed and joyous Christmas.

Father Massey will answer your questions. Write him at paulmassey@earthlink.net or P.O. Box 510 Fayetteville, GA 30214.