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New niece scores perfect 10

By Rick Ryckeley
Contributing Writer

She was to be the last born of our lineage and her upcoming arrival was announced by a phone call that came from a frantic brother around 9:30 Tuesday morning. A somewhat frazzled voice on the other end of the line said, “We’re having a baby!”

Big Brother James was driving his wife and two daughters to Piedmont Hospital. He said I needed to hurry; she was due to have the baby at 1:00. I wonder how, after almost nine months, she knew exactly what time the baby would come. New moms are simply amazing.

I left the house at ten, which gave me plenty of time to stop in at the Varsity for a good old dose of great food and grease, and still arrive at Piedmont Hospital a little after 12.ÊAfter paying five bucks to park (a good deal in downtown Atlanta), I finally made my way to the second floor, got off the elevator and meandered down the hallway looking for the maternity ward. It wasn’t hard to find.ÊAll those poor women!

I could not believe my eyes. The mean people at the hospital had them walking up and down the hallways!ÊI stopped a nurse and told her I thought it was wrong the doctors were making them exercise; they were about to have a baby, for crying out loud.ÊThey should be relaxing.ÊShe just smiled and said she’d talk to a doc about that, then patted me on my shoulder and walked away, taking one of the ladies with her. Glad she heard me; at least one was going to get some bed rest.

I was the first from the family to see the new arrival to the Ryckeley clan; well, after the proud mom and Big Brother James, that is.ÊAs the nurse wheeled her into the nursery, I noticed something.ÊNew babies are small; really, really small.ÊThey have small little hands, small little feet, small little ears; everything is small, except their voices. Now that’s really big.ÊMy new niece has a really good set of lungs.ÊGuess I’d be mad too if someone just painted my feet with black ink.

After taking a gazillion pictures, my chest swollen with pride, I called everyone to tell them about the new arrival.ÊI even called my friend The Health Department Guy who had some helpful advice for Big Brother James. “It’s good your brother’s a builder; with three daughters and a wife, he’ll never get into the bathroom again. Tell him I have the plans for an outhouse that he can build in the backyard.”

“Sure,” I replied, “the backyard would be perfect place for his new bathroom.ÊHe can build it right next to the doghouse.ÊHe’ll be spending a lot of time in there.”

Mom and the new niece got home Saturday, and The Wife and I went to see them the next day with presents galore. The Wife agreed with me: new babies are really small.ÊTo the new niece we gave a brown stuffed dog named Rudy; to the two-year-old we gave a blue, soft castle that held a princess doll, a small magic wand and a mirror; and to the fourteen-year-old we gave a fuzzy, blue pen thingy. I had not a clue what it was but as soon as big brother James saw it he said, “I know what that is; we have a bunch of pink ones upstairs.ÊYou know, I’ve become an expert in buying girl stuff.”ÊÊÊÊ

As we were getting ready to leave, Big Brother James had a very tired but content look on his face and said, “You know, I always thought I’d be surrounded by beautiful women.” Then his face folded into a big smile. “Just didn’t know it would be quite like this.”ÊHe turned to change a diaper, and I told the Wife it was time for us to go.

Congrats to James and the new mom.ÊFrom what I could see, their new addition to the family has scored a perfect ten on the cutie scale.

[Rick Ryckeley is employed by the Fayette County Department of Fire and Emergency Services. He can be reached at saferick@bellsouth.net.]