Resident Evil: Apocalypse - No ‘Cookout’ but still bad

By MICHAEL BOYLAN
mboylan@TheCitizenNews.com

The original “Resident Evil” surpassed expectations for movies based on video games thanks to good pacing, decent performances and some cool visuals. Paul W.S. Anderson, director and screenwriter for the original, wrote the script for the sequel but handed over the directorial reins to Alexander Witt so that he could make “Alien vs. Predator.” Big mistake. Not only was “Alien vs. Predator” pretty bad, but “Resident Evil: Apocalypse” fares much worse at the hands of Witt. Where “Resident Evil” tread the line between action and horror movie deftly, the sequel takes from the worst aspects of both genres.

“Resident Evil: Apocalypse” starts with a recap of the original, letting the audience know that Alice, played by Milla Jovavich, and Matt, played by Eric Mabius, were experimented on by the Umbrella Corporation after the end of the first film. Umbrella has been working on regenerating human cells and, of course, this led to zombies. In the case of Alice, she has become a super-human warrior, while Matt becomes a monster called Nemesis.

Nemesis has to be the worst part of “Resident Evil: Apocalypse.” He is a large figure with no lips and super strength. He sounds like Cookie Monster on steroids, totes mega-weapons and is controlled by the shady leader of the Umbrella Corporation. Inevitably, there are a few showdowns between Alice and Nemesis and this is where the movie becomes mired in stupid action movie land. It is noisy, highly implausible (and yes, I realize lots of things are implausible in zombie movies) and boring.

The other really bad part of this movie was Mike Epps, as the movie’s severely unfunny comic relief. Epps plays L.J., one of the last uninfected humans in Raccoon City. He teams up with our heroes, who include Jill Valentine, a former cop in a mini-skirt, and Carlos Olivera, a special agent who has been abandoned by his team because he is stuck in the city of the dead. L.J. is meant to bring humor and levity to the film, but it comes in the form of Epps dropping m-f bombs at a rapid rate. Yuk.

Ultimately, I found it hard to care about any of the characters in their quest to get out of Raccoon City before a nuclear bomb was dropped on it. While some parts of the film were laughably bad, including the dialogue of wheelchair bound Dr. Ashford and a scene where zombie children attack an Emmy-eager newswoman, there was not enough camp to recommend a viewing.

The other problem with this film is that I have seen much better zombie movies recently. “28 Days Later” was a fantastic re-invention of the genre and had a lot of humanity at its core. The audience was instantly grabbed by the small handful of survivors in a world gone zombie. I also enjoyed the remake of “Dawn of the Dead,” which had good acting, great visuals and a tightly wound plot. I also hope that “Resident Evil: Apocalypse” doesn’t turn audiences away from the upcoming “Shaun of the Dead,” which has won over audiences in England and has lots of great buzz generating stateside as well.

This wasn’t “The Cookout” bad, but I still can’t really recommend it.