No nursing home for me

By Dr. David L. Chancey
Pastor

I know I’m getting old, but I had a first the other day. I received a letter in the mail inviting me to consider “long term care” insurance. Of course, it made my day.

It read in part, “Like it or not, you and I may need nursing home or in-home care someday. Just consider these sobering statistics. More than half of all women and a third of all men who survive to the age of 65 are expected to spend time in a nursing home during the remainder of their life. And according to the National Academy on an Aging Society, the number of elderly needing long term care is expected to increase from seven million in 1997 to nearly ten million in 2018. Such care can quickly exhaust a lifetime of savings.”

I know we need to start thinking about such things, but I’m still paying for college for two daughters and will have three there next year. And we haven’t even gotten to weddings. As I staggered through these statistics, a dear senior adult lady shared an email that had been sent to her that provided a sound option for retirement living.

“With the average cost for a nursing home reaching $188 per day, there is a better way to spend our savings when we get old and feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn for a combined long term stay discount and senior discount. It comes to only $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 per day for:

1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.

2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, and lounge. Most have free toothpaste and razors.

3. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day will have the whole staff scrambling to help you.

4. There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up if you fake a decent limp.

5. To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise the cash keeps building up.

6. It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservations today. In any city. You can travel from coast to coast.

7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Mattress need replaced? No problem. They fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.

8. The Inn has a night security person and daily maid service. They check on you every day. If you’re not OK, they will call the ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

9. No worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to see you, and will probably check in for a mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool.

So when you reach the Golden Years, just face it with a grin. Just forward my mail to the Holiday Inn!”

Where I’ll spend my Golden Years remains to be seen, but I know the issue of my really long term care was settled years ago. In John 14:2, Jesus said, “In my Father’s house are many mansions. If it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.” Heaven even tops the Holiday Inn!

(Dr. David L. Chancey is pastor, McDonough Road Baptist Church, 352 McDonough Road, Fayetteville. The church family invites you to join them for Bible study at 9:45 a.m. and worship at 10:55 a.m. each Sunday.)