Wednesday, November 19, 2003

‘I’ and ‘me’ count reveals communication misunderstanding

Letter writer Fred Stavely showed a woefully ignorant viewpoint of communication skills. Ironically, he criticized people who were speaking the most responsibly.

Mr. Stavely took the time to count all the “me” and “I” responses to The Citizen’s Candidates Forum for the Peachtree City elections. He questioned the three with the highest count of these words. He wondered if these individuals were too self-absorbed and/or incapable of working with others.

A fundamental requirement for effective communication is to speak responsively. I speak over-responsively [sic] when I speak for someone else. If I tell someone that my wife would be glad to bake some cookies without first speaking with her, I am speaking over-responsibly [sic].

I speak under-responsibly when I speak for no one in particular. Phrases like “I’ve heard” or “People say” are earmarks of people speaking under-responsibly.

I want my candidates and fellow communicators to speak responsively. As Dan Tennant shared his plans, opinions, and accomplishments, how else could he do it without using the word “I”? He was sharing from his experience to inform the voters of his credentials. What is the alternative?

Mr. Stavely shared what sounded like a solid complaint. But when we look at it from a practical standpoint we see the flaws in his viewpoint.

Bill Webster

Peachtree City, Ga.