| Hobgoblin
and Monster Safety
By Rick Ryckeley
Fayette County Fire & Emergency Services
Some things are predictable
in this world. Each year you will have a birthday, unless you’re
over thirty. (Then, somehow, you stop having them.) Halley’s Comet
will come around once every 75 years. There will be an election for your
state governor once every four years – unless you live in California,
that is. (Then it’s whenever you get tired of the current one.) But,
at the end of this month, a special event witch (ha ha) only happens once
every seven years will occur. And this has yours truly excited beyond
words…well not really; that would mean this column was only one paragraph
long. For you see this year dear reader - oh my, what a fright - Halloween
will fall on a Friday night!
This is gonna be a huge happening, one somehow overlooked by the mainstream
media - an event as significant as any gubernatorial election and guaranteed
not to be recalled. Seeing little monsters and hobgoblins scurrying across
the yard once again will be as exciting as watching Halley’s Comet
streak across the starry night sky. Get your cobwebs ready and start digging
your bottomless pits. Check to see if the ten-foot, black and purple,
blow-up yard spider is full of air and ready to go. Hang up skeletons
in the trees and make sure they’re rocking ‘cause all the trick-or-treaters
in the neighborhood will soon come a-knocking.
After four trips to the local party story, we’re all stocked with
tasty ghoulish treats: candy eyeballs, chocolate flies, candy fingers
on sticks, and gummy worms. For the little monsters there’ll be plenty
of bubble gum, gummy bears, and snicker bars. I in my Batman costume with
state-of-the-art utility belt and The Wife dressed as the angel that she
is (with glow-n-the-dark halo) will eagerly await little knocks on our
door. They’ll come for candy, but they’ll get much more.
The Boy dug the bottomless pit last week while I put up the warning signs
and made sure they were well lit; this year we hope not to lose anyone.
We placed tombstones of Halloween past, present and future in the graveyard
next to the old, dead creepy tree; compliments of a stray lighting bolt
from the big storm last year. The smoke machine was checked and will cover
the yard with an eerie white mist. Speakers were hung in the trees and
will play scary music while strobe lights lining the driveway and sidewalk
illuminate the way. The safety of all trick-or-treaters next Friday night
is our main concern, but beware…if you come to our house on Halloween,
your candy treats will be well earned.
All kids should have a flashlight to illuminate their way past all the
scary decorations and bottomless pits. Walk on the sidewalks if possible;
never cut across lawns because other bottomless pits may not be as well
marked as ours. If you live in the land of 10,000 golf carts, be careful
because the goblins driving them may not see you. Any party store will
have hanging reflectors or reflector stickers/tape. Moms, add this to
your little monster’s costumes on the front and back. Only visit
homes that you know, and always examine all candy before you allow it
to be eaten. Halloween is really neat, but if we don’t have a lot
of little monsters visiting our house this year, we’ll be eating
leftover candy for weeks and weeks.
If you make it past our yard full of zombies, don’t get blown over
by the new wind machine. Traverse the small moat, wade through the eerie
white mist, don’t fall into the bottomless pit (if you do, let me
know if you find The Boy down there), and step over the scary “Boo
Mat,” then you have earned your treat, and The Wife and I will give
you a bunch of candy to eat. Have fun and be safe this Halloween.
Back to thø Opinion Home Page| Back
to the top of the page
|
