Wednesday,September 3, 2003

Encouraged by marriage column

I was very encouraged by the religion column this week on marriage. I grew up in a home where my parents did not always get along. We went through some tough times as a family, but through it all, they stayed together. They worked on their problems. Their commitment to each other and to the family was stronger by God's grace than their selfish desires.

My husband also saw his parents go through some hard times in their marriage. Just as they were on the brink of divorce, God in His mercy stepped in and saved them, and transformed their lives. How much? Well, at this point in time they recently celebrated 30 years of marriage. They sometimes counsel other couples whose marriages need work, and they are more in love now than they were the day they married.

Now, we are raising four (so far) children of our own. Sometimes we disagree, and argue. But, most importantly, we work through our disagreements. I think it is important for children to learn that in life, you will have differences of opinion and may even get angry with people, but that doesn't mean you walk away. You work it out, and when you have sinned in your speech or behavior, you repent and ask forgiveness.

I have spoken with others who never saw their parents disagree or argue. Does that mean it didn't happen? I highly doubt it. These people were totally unprepared when they experienced conflict in their own marriages. While I don't believe it is healthy to yell and scream at each other, and certainly not in front of children, it is not doing them any favors to pretend there are no problems. I benefited greatly from seeing that, by God's grace and with a commitment to others rather than oneself, marriage problems can be worked through.

I also appreciated the attitude expressed about children. God specifically states several times in scripture that children are blessings, the "icing on the cake." Far too many people have the opposite attitude about children, and are willing to go to great lengths to "prevent" the "inconvenience" (or discomfort, or expense, pick an excuse) of being blessed by God!

I must admit my own heart is sometimes tempted to this selfish attitude, but then my children smile, and hug me, and say, "I love you," or tell me I am "so pretty" just out of the blue. Or they chatter cheerfully to a lonely older person in the grocery store, and make their day and I realize once again, "Behold! Children are a treasure from the Lord! And the fruit of the womb is His reward." (Psalm 127:3.

Mrs. Kathryn Andrews

Peachtree City, Ga.