Wednesday, August 20, 2003
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Wednesday, August 20, 2003 |
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Marriage in trouble? Get counseling now! By JOHN HATCHER This column is directed at all supposed heterosexual couples who are married and who attend church. Indeed, if you are married as a Steve and an Eve, you have the basic foundations for God's initial plans all along: one man and one woman. But just because the outside of the box looks good, the increasing word is that there is trouble, exponential trouble brewing and shooting off within although everyone else esteems the family highly and even dreams of modeling their own after it. God forbid. A brief peek at the marriage and divorce rates in Fayette/Clayton counties will convince you we have somewhat of an epidemic among our marriages. Marriage dysfunction requires the addressing of certain questions: who will get what; who will have custody of the children; how about the jewelry; how do you split up the furniture, and the retirement accounts. Who gets to keep the brand new BMW he purchased as a birthday gift to her but it still is in his name (legally)? What a mess! Now the marriage experts are telling us pastors that the divorce rate among those who attend our churches and among those who do not attend our churches manifest no significant differences in divorce rate (perhaps there's a little fear that marriages outside the church are faring off a little bit better than those of us in the church.). How does the best among the ministers attempt to give us some rationalization and understanding for this? I strongly believe in third party intervention in order to save and strengthen a marriage as well as redeem the children from world-war scenarios every night. Indeed, two is a couple; but three is therapy. Based on nearly 29 years of marriage to the same wife, I recommend marriage counseling in the following situations: · You feel you are drifting part · You are struggling with depression · You cannot find time as a couple · You need to re-ignite your sexual intimacy · You have some sort of addiction · You have the same conflict over and over · You avoid conflicts repeatedly and take some things to extreme · You do not feel you are understood · You disagree over important issues. If you or your spouse together or separately is manifesting one or more of the above symptoms of a failing marriage, get help soon. If a medical doctor had offered a list of nine symptoms for which to look out to avoid serious heath issues, you would make an appointment in lightening flash time. Since here we are talking about the emotional, mental, and physical well-being of your family, your response time in getting help would also be a fast. Call your pastor, priest, and rabbi. Heaven, I am so concerned about the state of marriage, call me and I will give you my best counseling in three or four sessions without cost (Why without cost? My church pays me an adequate income and my call is to strengthen the life of our community.) When people are dying in their marriage, money for me is the last thing I think about. So, call me at 770-719-0303; you can call me at my home to set up an appointment at 770-461-2546. John Hatcher is pastor of Outreach International Center 1091 South Jeff Davis Drive Fayetteville, Georgia 30215 770-719-0303 |
