Wednesday, August 13, 2003
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Wednesday, August 13, 2003 |
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Wedding vows mean
cutting a deal By JOHN HATCHER Remember the words, "For better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish until death do us part." He said those words and she said the same words constituting a covenant. A covenant happens when two people cut a deal with one another, declaring the parameters by which and to which their relationship can be stretched and tried. A covenant conveys security. When two people get married, it's like finding that mysterious unknown in high school chemistry. The teacher gives you a test tube full of something and says, "find out what it is." If you learned well, you know that you must subject the test tube's contents through a series of tests to discover finally what the unknown is. Well, anyone who has been married for any length of time will just about testify that he or she married an unknown. Only by going through a series of trials and tribulations does one discover what he or she married in the first place. Circumstances and time reveal what you married. When you cut a deal with someone and declare before God, angels, church, family, and friends, "For better, for worse," you've got some security for all the unknowns that your mate will discover about you. Yes, he will find out your annoying habits; but, he said, "for better, for worse." Yes, she will discover that your parents never did have any money; but, she said, "For richer, for poorer." The covenant of marriage stands as protection as the unknowns are unfolded by daily life. Of course, enter divorce court and no fault divorce. The world's standard now allows that if you find out something you don't like about your spouse, you can seek a divorce with no one having to carry the fault. But that's the world and not God. Jesus said what God has brought together, no one is to separate. That means any court of any land, too. Tragically, our children even in the third and fourth grades are whispering to one another at school using the "D" word regarding their parents. Their security system becomes flawed. They don't know whom or what they can trust. The way it is suppose to happen is like this: children see and hear their parents have an argument, perhaps engage in a little shouting match. But, the children should be learning life goes on and Mama and Daddy still love each other and are devoted to one another and everyone's life is secure. Yes, I heard my daddy and my mama exchange a few hard and harsh words. But it never entered my mind that they would ever think divorce. We all lived in that security. Our parents might have a few words, but that did not mean that Daddy wouldn't be coming home at the end of the work day and that Mama wouldn't be cooking supper as always. Never did I worry about not having a man living in our home. Never did I worry that someone would not be there for my sisters and me. We all rested in the security of "for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer." I encourage parents that for the sake of your children and for the sake of providing a model of trust and security, stay true to your words on your wedding day. Makes for a lot less complicated life. Everyone will sleep better. John Hatcher is pastor of Outreach International Center 1091 South Jeff Davis Drive Fayetteville, Georgia 30215 770-719-0303 |
