Wednesday, July 30, 2003
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Wednesday, July 30, 2003 |
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Europify is so a word By MICHAEL
BOYLAN I know some of you may be waiting for the second installment of the Virtual Fayette County Road Trip, but it will have to wait until next week. As a bonus, I will add a few more Fayette Counties to the column so that we can finish the virtual road trip in a timely manner. This week though I would like to discuss ways to Americanize Europe and make it better and ways to Europify the U.S. and make it better. You may be thinking that "Europify" is not a word, but it may be one day. Heck, even "D'oh" has made the dictionary. I just returned from a 10-day trip to Germany and Italy. It was a great trip. During my stay across the pond I started thinking about the things I liked about Europe and the U.S. and the things I didn't like. I think if a little more of both areas were introduced into the other, the world would be a better place. Europe has already welcomed a lot of stuff from America into their nations, but it could accept more. For instance, I think the bathrooms in Europe should be uniform. The bathrooms in Germany were fine, although a little different from U.S. facilities in that many of the toilets have a shelf. It's weird, but you get over it. Italy, on the other hand, is in desperate need for an overhaul and standard facilities. Many of the restrooms we visited in Italy did not have toilet seats, which does prevent one from having to sit on a nasty seat but also doesn't offer a place to sit at all. This was not good and it did not go over well with the wife. Perhaps the strangest thing of all was the fancy restaurant that only had a hole in the ground in the men's room. The staff of the restaurant wore white tuxedos and were extremely graceful and helpful, but the restroom looked like something out of a horror movie. So, let's send Europe toilets made of good, old-fashioned U.S. porcelain and bring them out of the dark ages and into the 21st century. Another thing about Italy that rubbed me wrong was the fact that they close up shop for a period between noon and 2 p.m. From what I hear, Spain follows suit. I understand that it gives people a chance to take a break and maybe connect with their families, but I find this unacceptable. Especially when we found that opening hours for a number of places, including the lost baggage office and the rental car office at the airport, was apparently whenever the person opening felt like it. Restaurants should not be closed for lunch and lost baggage offices should not be closed ever, as long as flights are still coming in and people are still losing bags. The only other thing I could think of that could be done to Americanize is to offer sensibly priced value meals at American style fast-food places and to treat sodas the way they are treated in the states. The Burger King in Germany charged what amounts to six dollars for a Whopper value meal and no, I didn't order one anyway. I looked at the menu and nearly fainted. As for soda in Europe, it typically comes in a small glass with no ice and the refills are not free. This was a trip where I fell in love with water again and also drank beer, which only cost approximately 10 cents more than a soda. Even if I didn't like beer, which I do, I would have drank it on principle alone. But it wasn't all shady bathrooms, expensive fast food and lazy customer service, Europe gets a lot of things right too. First off, their public transportation is incredible and it should be envied and implemented in the States. You can get anywhere without a car, thanks to buses, subways and trains. If there are lots of people out there needing a job, why not create a fantastic public transportation system that lets Americans reduce stress and pollution and also lets them travel their own country cheaper and easier than ever before? We did rent a car in Italy and despite getting lost on our way to the hotel, the roads were very easy to understand eventually, thanks to a plethora of easy to follow road signs. Atlanta could probably take a cue from Venice and have signs that point drivers to major landmarks, hotels and highways. After that initial hellish journey to the hotel, we never got lost again, which is impressive because Sabine and I frequently lose our car in parking lots. Europe also has thousands of tiny cafes, restaurants, inns and shops and America is lacking those in a big way. The Starbucks, Olive Gardens and Wal-Marts have replaced the Mom-and-Pop stores all over this country and I think the character and individuality of our cities and towns has suffered. We give big business breaks; why not make it easier for small places to open and find their niche in their communities? Other things that could make America even cooler would be art within cities and towns - think the Cow Parade but all the time and in cities everywhere, and pedestrian zones. There were times in Venice and Chioggia, which is a small fishing village, that you could walk in any direction, without fear of being clipped by a car, and see an amazing statue or piece of architecture. In Koblenz, Germany, one such statue, the Schangel, has become the centerpiece of the town. It is on nearly every manhole in the old part of town and when you reach it, the statue of the bratty boy spits out water at varying intervals. Though not its original intention, it has become a tourist attraction and is a delightful way to cool off on a hot summer day. These are just some ideas and I realize that, like lots of things, it is easier said than done. All in all, I'm glad to be back stateside, sleeping in my own bed and using my own bathroom. Next week - more Fayette Counties around the U.S. - I promise.
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