Wednesday, July 30, 2003
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Wednesday, July 30, 2003 |
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Marriage, like marinade, takes a while to 'flavor' By JOHN HATCHER If I had it to do all over again, I would still get married. Probably not for the same reasons I married in the first place. My wife and I were talking the other day about our getting married almost 29 years ago. She was 19 and today confesses she did not know what she was getting into. I was 27 and according to her, I should have known what I was getting myself into. But, upon reflection, I didn't. Marriage is a marinade. You have to soak in for a decade or two before you begin to realize what it's all about. True experts in marriage are those couples who can talk about 40, 50, and 60 years of marital diss, hiss and bliss. It's a wonderful marinade. It colors and flavors every aspect of one's life. Folks who try it for one, two, or three years and call it quits, never do experience the joys and near supernatural experiences of long term marriage. It's absolutely delicious when my wife can just look at me and I know what she is saying without her uttering one syllable. It's called mind reading or mental telepathy. But it only comes after soaking in each other's juices for more than a few arguments or few birthdays or few disappointments. There's no such thing as an instant marinade and there is no such thing as an instant marriage made in heaven. Before you truly realize you have a marriage made in heaven, you have to pass by a few fires from hell together, that is. Often times, your marinade picks up the flavor of the fire. But that's okay. Doesn't it taste better when you can taste the fire without eating charcoal? Now, before my single readers have a fit, let me say that marriage was not designed for every soul on the planet. I can think of some people who should have remained single rather than mess up a lot of people's lives. Jesus even indicated that there were some people called to be single. Spiritually and physically single, that is. I thought I was called to the single life until God put Mary Ann Blackburn in my path by way of a good friend in the ministry. You see, I had already entered seminary, but was single. I figured that since most Protestant congregations want their pastors married (for just about the same reason the Catholics want their men single), I would pursue the route of a military chaplain. But this thoroughly sweet and precious of a little girl from the hills of Kentucky changed all that. For the first time I was smitten with a girl who was smitten for me. That's a kind of nice experience of the two people want to get married. One month of dating had convinced me that she was God's choice. I popped the question at a restaurant near her university dorm and she immediately accepted. Eights months later, we were the Rev. and Mrs. John Hatcher. No longer single, I hardly ever longed for the single life again. But just think what marriage delivers in addition to the blue and pink deliveries. You don't have to eat supper alone anymore. In addition to the evening news with Dan Rather, you have a wife or husband to add his or her own commentary. There's someone who actually cares that you have a spot on your new shirt and wants to "shout it out." And you know without a doubt who will be the first to the scene of the accident. When you are so sick you can't call in sick, she will call your boss for you. Wow! The wonder and wonderful nature of marriage. In spite of all the bum raps marriage gets from late night talk show hosts who can't stay married, marriage is still the most desirable and blessed of human relationships. I hope you might consider it as an option for yourself or perhaps you might consider how valuable marriage is and continue to marinade. John Hatcher is pastor of Outreach International Center 1091 South Jeff Davis Drive Fayetteville, Georgia 30215 770-719-0303 |
