Wednesday, July 9, 2003
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Wednesday, July 9, 2003 |
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Becoming unfurled at Six Flags By MICHAEL
BOYLAN
Sabine's brother, Rob, an art major at UMASS Dartmouth, gave up his spring break to help screen in our back porch and build us a deck. We felt we should pay him back by inviting him down here in the summer and doing something fun and not involving manual labor. We thought about taking in a baseball game and bar hopping in Athens but then a stroke of genius hit. "Hey, I'll bet that Six Flags won't be too crowded on the Fourth of July," I said. "Everybody will have parties to go to and parades to watch. It will be like we'll have the park to ourselves." Sabine and Rob agreed with my logic and we left for the amusement park early Friday morning. As we got to the end of the exit ramp, I saw a number of cars, but thought, "Hey, it's a big park." As we turned the corner to the front entrance I saw what would be the first of many lines of the day. Actually, the first three hours at Six Flags were smooth. We had a good plan - run to Superman first (the furthest point) and then do everything in order on our way back to the entrance. We got on Superman with hardly any wait. Hooray. Next was the Scream Machine and again, we waited for approximately one minute, before getting on the roller coaster. Here's a bit of advice to people who will be going to Six Flags this year though, don't wear a hat on a roller coaster. As we descended down the first hill, the person in front of me's baseball cap smacked me in the face before landing in the water below. The rest of the morning was lots of fun. We drove the Bumper Cars and since after our ride no one was in line, the attendant let everyone ride for another five minutes. I will say this though, you know the cell phone thing is getting out of hand when people use them on the bumper cars. Rob and I rode Ninja, which was so painful I think I'll boycott it for a while, and then rode Deja-Vu, which is the best, most intense and scariest roller coaster I have ever been on in my life. Deja-Vu was also where we started to wait in line for extended periods. However, because there is only one coaster going and it takes a long time to make sure everybody is strapped in, we thought nothing of it. Big mistake. Every ride for the rest of the afternoon was jammed. The waits were between 30 minutes to over an hour and no ride was much over two minutes. This just seemed insane. It was hot and we were forced to watch trashy-looking teenagers make out. It was either that or look at chewed gum collages on nearby trees, television monitors and trashcans. It wasn't a lot of fun but it did give me time to think about things that would make Six Flags better. First, renovate or upgrade Monster Plantation. The animatronic monsters are broken. Their heads are bent or backwards, their coats are mangy and stained and the soundtrack is garbled and warped. The ride is supposed to be a little scary towards the end, not creepy throughout. On a positive note, it was nice to be in the shade for a while. Secondly, how about a haunted house that you don't have to pay extra for. Six Flags now has one of the haunted houses from Fright Fest open year round but it is an extra $6 a person. The park also has Go-Karts, a laser tag thing and a Sky launcher, all of which cost extra. Yeah, like we didn't spend an arm and a leg to get in here already. It costs $10 to park. That's just crazy. Plus, it was so expensive to eat in the park that next time we are just going to eat condiment packets and sip water from a water fountain. Third, stop trying to take people's pictures when they come in the park. It is not nice. It is annoying. Plus, I'm sure the poor kids who have that as a job feel like telemarketers that can actually be punched by the people they are harassing. I don't mean to be a gloomy gus. Six Flags can be a really fun place, but when it is jammed with people you really have to wonder why on Earth you're there and why you are paying so much for the "privilege."
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