Wednesday, February 12, 2003
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Wednesday, February 12, 2003 |
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Make love, not excuses, this Valentine's Day By JOHN HATCHER There's a crisis in Fayette County. Not a water crisis. Not a leadership crisis. Not a traffic crisis. No, we have a crisis of legitimate sex. Husbands and wives are not getting enough. As one of the most married counties in Georgia, I believe we have a crisis of dearth. This crisis comes on a community filled with couples having their first and second babies. For some reason, our women feel they are not as desirable after giving birth to children as before giving birth. So, they become cool to the idea of a hot night of pleasure. The crisis also comes on a community filled with couples that are both working at killer jobs. They work all day and in the evening, leaving no energy left for a little nighttime aerobics under the sheets. Finally, the crisis comes on a community filled with people who have a definite case of aging. Despite plastic surgery, mud packs, and the local gym, gravity and time do a number on our bodies which all the king's men and all the king's horses can't repair. We sag in all the wrong places, making us all think we don't deserve the youthful thrill of sex. Now, if we wanted to, we could go to the Good Book and see what it had to say. In fact, since Valentine's Day is day after tomorrow, let's get all the help we can to avert this growing crisis. Allow me to quote 1 Corinthians 7:1-4, "Now I will answer the questions that you asked in your letter. You asked, 'Is it best for people not to marry?' Well, having your own husband or wife should keep you from doing something immoral. Husbands and wives should be fair with each other about having sex. A wife belongs to her husband instead of to herself, and a husband belongs to his wife instead of to himself. So don't refuse sex to each other, unless you agree not to have sex for a little while, in order to spend time in prayer." All across Fayette and even into neighboring communities we have wives refusing sex to their husbands and yes, husbands refusing sex to their wives for reasons other than prayer. As a result, we have anger brewing in bedrooms, business bustling in the brothels, and divorce lawyers reaping payoffs. In other words, the Bible is clear: stop refusing one another. Rarely do a husband and wife want to have sex precisely at the same time. Hence, the refusing. But, Christians, who are suppose to be about giving, should stop refusing and give to our mate's content. Yet, there are steps we as lovers can take to prepare the way for better sex. The most significant step for good sex is communication. Talking to one another, more than you realize, will open the stores of sexuality for one another. Don't you remember that your first romance was born in communication when she said, "Mama, he actually talks to me and cares for what I think." And he said, "Daddy, this girl has a head on her shoulders; she talks and makes good sense." All marriage counselors will tell you the fastest way to enjoyable sex is authentic conversation that demonstrates respect and honor for one another. All the chocolate and champagne in the world won't do for the bedroom what mutual respect and communication will do. So, let freedom preside in the bedroom. Have fun. Play with one another. There are no limits for husband and wife. Let your "child" nature out. Forget you are adults and parents and businessmen and women. Leave your responsibilities outside the bedroom or the backseat of the car, or the kitchen table. Married folks, the word for you is liberation. Take advantage of it. It's legal and moral and spiritual! Indeed, have a sex-filled Valentines Day. Let's avert this crisis!
John Hatcher is pastor of Outreach International Center 1091 South Jeff Davis Drive Fayetteville, Georgia 30215 770-719-0303 |
