Wednesday, January 15, 2003

I have often found that words of sensationalism tend to foment not only a keen interest within readers, but also incite genuine human emotion, even when genuine human is not warranted. Whether accurate or not, I have compiled a priority list of sorts for this wonderful city of Fayetteville, a city that day by day grows increasingly more diluted in foliage and consequently, more analogous to Riverdale.

Why should we strive to resuscitate the image of a quaint Southern town when we are clearly a city of commercial activity? If the courthouse is the definitive symbol of Fayetteville, than its image should address the times. Our fiscal efforts should strive to shape the image of Fayetteville into that of something more befitting, more definitive of the times we live in.

Remove the analog clock from atop the courthouse and replace it with a giant neon digital clock. I envision a clock that can be used by Fayettevillains to swiftly and accurately tell time. We should concentrate our efforts on the meticulous craftsmanship that will be necessary to produce a clock of this magnitude. This project, in my opinion, should begin as soon as McDonald's is back up on its feet. A city without McDonald's is not only archaic, but also seems to display contempt for the decencies of modern society.

Now to more pressing matters. I have heard legends of a new Pavilion. This is exactly what Fayetteville does not need! Why must we settle for a mere Pavilion when we could quite easily steal from Peachtree City and build our very own Avenue?

The Avenue is, in my opinion, the very essence of modern day splendor. With the exception of Mr. Ted Turner's buffalo restaurant, it is the zenith of suburban living.

Granted, people of Fayetteville and people of Peachtree City are two different entities. When we build our Avenue, certain demographical elements should be taken into account.

For instance, we should think not of opening a Thai restaurant and an expensive seafood place, but rather, a Chinese takeout and a Red Lobster. This theory also holds true for clothing stores. Instead of Banana Republic, give us Dixie Outfitters.

It is this wonderful rationale, on behalf of the powers that be, that gave Peachtree City its pleasurable dining scene and gave Fayetteville Chuck E. Cheese's.

Perhaps I have lofty hopes for Fayetteville. Perhaps my ideas are mere pipedreams for what may never come. But I do know this. I know that Fayetteville is the only place on Earth where the police spend more time shooting radar guns than pistols. I know that it is the only place on Earth where most of its citizens have ever lived. And I know that (for now) it is the only place on Earth without a McDonald's. And that makes me smile.

Alexander Lexington

Fayetteville

AlexFish18@cs.com