Wednesday, November 6, 2002
|
Wednesday, November 6, 2002 |
|
Mike learns a little about anger management By
MICHAEL BOYLAN
I get angry. Sometimes the anger is completely justified and other times it is just because I have a short fuse. I do not get physically violent but I do tend to abuse the English language when my ire is raised. I would like to not get as angry, so I looked on the internet for ways to control my anger. I found 10 steps to controlling anger but it really ticked me off. First off, there were two rules before the 10 steps, so the Web site lied and I hate it when people, animals or Web sites lie. The rules are - 1. Don't sweat the small stuff and 2. Most matters are small stuff. How quaint. It seems a guy wrote a book called "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff." I'll bet he's made enough cash that he doesn't have to sweat the small stuff anymore. He pays people to sweat it for him. Anyway, on to the rules. The first rule is to meditate. Yep, nothing like some good meditation to cool you down. especially, when you've got a big case of road rage going as you're traveling in excess of 60 miles per hour on the interstate. Meditation is fine and dandy for certain situations, when you can walk away but it wouldn't have helped me when I wanted to wring the necks of the 12 people talking around me recently at the movie theatre. Sure, maybe I wouldn't be so mad but they wouldn't have shut up and I would have missed a portion of the movie while I was sitting indian-style and "omming." The next rule is to assert yourself calmly and respectfully. I like this and hope I can use this but I'm not sure it will work. Let's take the movie example. I approach noisy people during the movie. "Excuse me, could you please not talk during the movie. I paid good money to hear the film." And then they say "Shut Up! You're not my mama! You got a problem with me? You want to go! I'll kill you. " O.K., now I'm not angry. I'm terrified. Later on, either after I've been beaten or I have run away, I'll be angry again, but then I'll be able to meditate, most likely from a hospital bed. Those of you who think I'm being overly dramatic should know that my wife was threatened with knife violence when she gave a teenage couple a dirty look and shushed them during a film. Then the rules get a little silly. The third rule is to care for a pet. I have three cats and I still get angry, especially when one of them howls at the wall or binges on cat food and then purges. Yes, cleaning up after kitty bulimics is just another thing that pushes my buttons. The fourth rule is to listen, but more often than not you'll just be listening to an angry person. Using the movie theatre example again (because ultimately this is what has made me the angriest lately) the problem was having to listen to these morons in the first place. The fifth rule is to increase empathy - see the world through the other person's eyes. I do this and I start to feel 10 times dumber. The sixth rule is to be tolerant. I will try to do this, except for when I am ticked about movie talkers, because I shouldn't have to be tolerant about that. The seventh rule is to forgive. I can see how this would be good in some cases, but, on the other hand, I may never see these people again or even know who they are in the first place. For example, people with large cars, trucks or SUVs that park in spaces that say compact cars only at MARTA. Why should they be forgiven? It is not as though they all had emergencys and had to violate the parking rule. The eighth rule is to have a confidant. I do and she gets just as perturbed about these things as I do. The ninth rule is to laugh often. I do and it doesn't really help. Besides, most of the time I find angry comedians like George Carlin, Lewis Black and Dennis Miller hilarious. The 10th rule is to become more religious and spiritual, as it may give you a more positive outlook. I suppose I could give it a try but it is likely just something else that will set me off. Instead I think I'll settle for watching movies at home. |
