The Fayette Citizen-Opinion Page

Friday, October 25, 2002
Sugared-up little monsters and bottomless pits

By Rick Ryckeley
Fayette County Fire & Emergency Services

Many times Dad has said to me, "Life is everything that happens between birth and death. It's not a spectator's sport - you must get off the sidelines and play. There's a time to be a kid, a time to go to school, a time to get married, a time to have children and finally; a time to die. You'd better enjoy each stage of your life because you can't go back and repeat one."

Well, not so fast, old silver gray-haired one - next week I get to be a kid once again 'cause it's trick-or-treat time.

Yep, next week is Halloween. The one time of the year when kids of all ages dress up as monsters, super heroes, firefighters, policemen, hobgoblins and other scary things. Then, when the sun goes down the monsters come out! They'll knock on all the neighbors' doors and get hands full of free candy in their bags.

This year, I've been told that I must stay home and answer our door. Well, that's okay - one can have lost of fun just handing out candy. Especially if the "one" is really just a big kid and spares no expense doing the front yard up right.

Halloween is a big holiday around our house. Every year we spend weeks getting ready for the special night. This year we'll start the yard decoration on Oct. 1. Extra effort will be used to make sure everything is right, because this year Halloween falls on a Thursday night.

Strobe lights will be placed strategically near the base of four trees, to get the scariest visual effects possible. Sound tracks from monster movies will be playing over the speakers hanging in the trees - controlled by a mixing board in The Boy's room.

Each year we add something new to our ghoulish yard decorations. Last year we went to your friendly nighhood Kroger and got a cooler full of dry ice. At night we placed chunks of dry ice in buckets of water all over the yard. The dry ice made a thin layer of fog over the entire front lawn. But last year's fog will be nothing like this year's fog. A new smoke machine will provide an eerie ground-covering mist that all candy-goers must wade through. If they make it to the front door they will be greeted with screams as they step onto the scary door mat. And of course everyone makes it to the front door ...well except for that one fellow two years back. But that wasn't our fault - the area was clearly marked "Danger: Bottomless Pit."

Not your typical yard decorations, I know, but we take Halloween decorations around here seriously. Besides, this year I gotta stay home. The Wife says I looked too silly dressed in my Batman costume going door to door trick-or-treating. (Last year no one gave me any candy.)

When your children reach our front porch, they'll step on the scary boo mat, and we'll answer the door. The Wife in her angel costume (and she really is) and I in my Batman suit - complete with state-of-the-art utility belt - will take turns handing out the goodies. We'll hand the kids an assortment of ghoulish candy: candy eye balls, chocolate flies, and gummy worms. For the little ones we'll have some of the traditional stuff - you know: bubble gum, gummy bears, and snicker bars. All will be well worth the effort it took to reach our door.

Just how do you find our house you might ask? Sorry, The Wife won't let me give out the address. I think it has something to do with people still being mad about that Minnesota article and no sweet tea above the Mason Dixie Line. But, if you drive your children up and down the streets in Fayette County, our yard will be easy to spot.

Not because of the strobe lights. Not because of the new smoke machine covering the yard with an eerie-ground-covering mist. Not even because of the Bottomless Pit to the right of the coffin that opens and closes when someone nears. No, this year our yard will be easy to spot because it will be the only one with a ten-foot black and purple spider on the lawn with cobwebs all over the trees. (Ten foot blow up spider compliments of your neighbor Kroger store for only $39.95.) So come one, come all, if you dare.

Have a fun and safe Halloween by making sure each child has a flashlight to illuminate their way passed all of the scary decorations and Bottomless Pits. (Other Bottomless Pits may not be as clearly marked as ours.) Hang reflectors or reflector stickers/tape on their costumes so they can bee seen by cars, and examine all candy before you allow it to be eaten. By following a few safety rules, your little monster will return to you safely - and all sugared up on Thursday night.

On a personal note: Today marks one year that this paper has allowed me to write a weekly opinion article. They've let me write about safety topics, my wife, my son, growing up with my brothers and sister, the adventures and misadventures we had as a family, and I thank them for that.

The first article was about 9-11. That one got on the front page. Afterwards I asked The Wife, "What do I do now?"

She answered, "Do you have anything else to say? If so keep writing." And I have written for fifty-two weeks. One question now for you, dear reader, and I would really like to know: Has it been a trick or has it been a treat?

[Rick Ryckeley is employed by the Fayette County Department of Fire and Emergency Services. He can be reached at saferick@bellsouth.net.]

 


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