By DAVID EPPS
Pastor

All over the community, churches have posted signs saying, "We love you Pastor Bob and Sharon," or "We appreciate the Reverend Ortiz family." What all this is about is that someone, somewhere, proclaimed October as "Clergy Appreciation Month."

So, some churches, certainly not all, are appreciating their clergy. It's not a bad idea, really. Everybody else has a special day, or a special week, or a special month. Why not clergy?

When I served as a pastor in another denomination, there was "Pastor Appreciation Day." The denominational officials would send letters to members of the Official Board informing them that on such and such a day the denomination would observe this day of honor. It was supposed to be a surprise but every pastor in the denomination knew about the letters and the special day, so there was no surprise. Unless, of course, the Official Board ignored the letters and chose to ignore "Pastor Appreciation Day." Kinda sent a message, don't ya think?

As far as I can recall, the churches that I served through those years all observed "Pastor Appreciation Day." In some of those churches, if you were an associate pastor you were out of luck because, after all, it was Pastor Appreciation Day, not Associate Pastor Appreciation Day. Associate pastors were often just considered "ministers in training" or "assistants to the real pastor" and were easily ignored. That attitude bred competition and resentment, which made the lowly associates, who actually did the bulk of the work, feel very unappreciated. But if you wanted to be appreciated on Pastor Appreciation Day, so went the conventional wisdom, go pastor a church.

The gifts that I received on that special day were varied. My favorite was a Canon AE-1 camera that launched a thousand or so news releases and brought joy for years to come. I received a plaque or two and several gift certificates to restaurants (one which went out of business before I could use it which left me holding a worthless voucher). Cash or a check was always nice since many pastors make less that the average salaries of the members of their congregations. Once, I was given a gift of a trip for two to the Holy Land. The only problem was that after the presentation of the gift (which wasn't an actual voucher but just the promise of a trip) the Middle East heated up and the proposed trip, which had not yet been paid for, was canceled. So actually what I got that year was nothing. But, it's the thought that counts.

Someone asked me recently, "What would make you feel appreciated as a pastor?" (Or "rector," as we call such people in my denomination. Incidentally, the word "rector" comes from a root word that means "ruler," as in "the ruler of the house" or the spiritual father of the family." Betcha the Baptists never let their pastors adopt that title. Oh, don't be so touchy, you know it's true.)

Anyway, after a bit of thought and over 30 years of ministry, here's my "How I Know That I Am Appreciated and if You Do These Things You Don't Have to Have a Special Day or Give Me a Gift" list. I don't know what other pastors might suggest but here goes:

1) Show up for church every Sunday that you are not working or on vacation or terminally ill. If you are terminally ill, call the pastor and ask him to come see you and pray for you.

2) Show up for church on time. Better, arrive five minutes early. Every Sunday. It's embarrassing when visitors see church members straggle in like wandering sheep.

3) Don't say, "I'll pray about it," when you are asked to do something. The pastor has already prayed and he feels that God wants you to do this or he wouldn't have asked you. Besides, every pastor knows that "I'll pray about it" really means "No way in heck!"

4) Tithe. Give extra offerings. Give to the poor. My favorite bumper sticker is "If you love Jesus, tithe. Any fool can honk!" To "tithe" means to give 10 percent of your income to the church, not to charities.

5) Hang around and help clean up after the services. Someone has to stay. Often, it's the pastor.

6) The pastor is not perfect. Quit acting surprised and shocked when he proves it.

7) Pray for him. Pray for his wife. Pray especially for his children. Every day.

8) Be honest and forthright with him, but don't be a jackass. Express your opinion, but be respectful, especially in a group, and realize that he does this for a living 24/7 and that you really don't have a clue as to what he does. He is more concerned about the success of the church than you are. I guarantee it.

9) When the baby cries, take the little darling to the foyer or the cry room. Quickly, please.

10) Say to the pastor, "If there anything I can do for you? Is there anything you need?" If he survives the shock, he may kiss you.

On short notice, there's my Top Ten List. There's still a few days left in October, so, go appreciate your pastor and, please, don't forget the associates.

[Father David Epps is rector of Christ the King Charismatic Episcopal Church in the Coweta/Fayette County area of south metro Atlanta. He may be contacted at FatherDavidEpps@aol.com or at www.ctkcec.org.]

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