By Rick Ryckeley
Fayette County Fire & Emergency Services

To all of those young readers out there, there's something ya need to know. Your parents really don't know what you are doing most of the time. Heck, they don't even know what they're doing most of the time. I know that this comes as a surprise to some of you, but it's true. Oh, it's true.

Parents really aren't the see-all-know-all creatures you have always thought them to be. They don't have super hearing or have eyes in the back of their heads (I know, I've checked.) When they send you to bed, they really don't know if you're asleep, playing video games, watching T.V. or staying up all night just so the next day you can say you stayed up all night. Yes, young reader, these are just a few things that parents donít really know. Read on there are many more.

That box of Christmas candy tucked away deep in your closet? Mom doesn't even know it exists. The chocolate Easter eggs you'll get next week? She won't know how many you eat and how many you sneak back to your room. (Just hide them under your bed, she'll never look there.) Remember all of those times she told you to march yourself back into bathroom to brush your teeth? There's really no way for her to know if you brushed them the first time or not.

Just think. All the times she's told you to go wash your face after you took a bath, didn't you wonder how she knew you hadn't? (And you took such great pains not to get the water, much less the soap, on your face.) How many times have you walked back to the bathroom wondering, "How does she know that I didn't wash my face?" Each and every time your mom was smiling at you. I'll let you in on a little secret - your mom really didnít know. (Moms are just really good guessers!)

When the cookie jar got broken, she just guessed who did it. When you left the ink pen in your pocket and it went through the washer and dryer you got it mom just guessed it was yours. Ya know all that make up you put on at school that she won't let you wear? Yep. You guessed it she knows. Whenever she says, "Boy, you're gonna get it when your dad gets home." No need to worry if you're nice to her the rest of the day, she'll forget she was mad at you long before dad comes home.

But unlike moms, dads aren't good guessers at all matter of fact, dads don't know what's going on most of the time. You know the five dollars you got out of dad's wallet? You're right he doesn't really know you got it. He never missed it never guessed that you took it.

When he asked you who broke the neighbor's window with the ball and you said, "I don't know," he believed you. When you were having a pillow fight with your little brother, dad yelled up the stairs, "Are you fighting with your little brother?" He believed you when you said, "No." Oh, it's true, and there's more.

The C you got on your last report card that you changed to a B? Dad never guessed it was changed. After staying out all night at your best friend's house, he believed you when you said you were in by 10. Remember that time dad gave you a whipping with his belt? He said, "This is gonna hurt me a lot more than it's gonna hurt you." Donít believe it, he never felt a thing.

Contrary to what you might think, dads don't know everything even though they may say that they do. And you're right - they do believe everything you tell them. Like the new dent you put in the car last time you took it out for a quick spin around the block. He believed you when you said you didn't even know it was there.

The ticket you got for running the stop sign? He truly believes it wasn't your fault. (He understands that the police officer was just out to get you.) The person your dad told you not to date again trust me, he doesn't know you're still going out with him. When he asks if all of your homework is done and you mumble, "Yep," he really believes it's all done.

April Fools Day will be Monday, and with that in mind, I have written this article. One last bit of parting knowledge, which could be useful to you, my young reader - yes, a tidbit of info that quite possibly could save you from a world of grief - my dad once said to me, "Son, it's a smart person who believes only half of what he reads and even less of what he hears. It's a wise person who knows which half to believe." But what does he know my dad really doesn't know anything either.

[Rick Ryckeley is employed by the Fayette County Department of Fire and Emergency Services. He can be reached at saferick@bellsouth.net.]

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