Wednesday, January 30, 2002
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Wednesday, January 30, 2002 |
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This just in: Cell phones now universal By
SALLIE SATTERTHWAITE
The last hold-outs in North America have capitulated and bought cellular telephone service. The couple, willing to be interviewed on condition of anonymity, are rumored to be residents of Fayette County, Ga., one of the highest-per-capita-income counties in America. Q: Do you remember the first time you saw anyone using a mobile telephone? A: Very well. We were shopping in Annapolis, Md., when I realized a woman at the produce counter was talking to someone who wasn't there. Hanging from her shoulder was a cumbersome battery pack, and her handset was wired in. She was deep in a conversation that, I believe, had nothing to do with the lettuce she was turning over in her other hand. Since then, of course, we've become almost accustomed to seeing a person walking down the street or sitting in a restaurant, talking to a fist pressed against their cheek. Q: You say you are embarrassed to have contributed to the cellular gap between the United States and the European nations. Does every family in Europe have a cell phone? A: No, not a cell phone many cell phones, at minimum one for each child old enough to speak. They are much more common overseas. So much so that in German opera houses, just before the curtain rises, a soothing feminine voice is broadcast throughout the theater, requesting that patrons turn off their "handies," as they are known there. And we've seen knots of young people on their way home from school, laughing and chattering not to each other, but to kids in some other knot of laughing and chattering young people. Q: What finally made you capitulate? A: We travel a lot, and our kids worry that we're out of touch. Also, they want us to be able to call for help while traveling, if we need it. Q: Do you recall your first trip with the cell phone? A: Oh, yes. We were taking our small boat up the Cumberland River in Tennessee and hadn't been out a day before we noticed "Missed calls." Someone was trying to reach us. And since our kids and closest friends were sworn to call only in an emergency, it had to be an emergency. If not, then it was gobbling up minutes for no good reason. Hit the Return button, got a "We're sorry" message informing us we couldn't make that call. Or we got nothing. Hadn't seen a cell tower in several days, and only when we were out from between the mountains. "Missed calls" kept coming. I was distraught. My husband was disgusted. "That thing is supposed to spare us anxiety, not cause it," he snarled. When we finally ran down the source for the daily "missed calls," it was the phone company doing routine follow-up with a new customer. I'm convinced it's a ploy to make customers answer or return calls, for which they dock you a minute, edging you closer to roaming and long distance fees. One call we actually did get was a friend whose mother had died. That call was like most cell phone calls, only intensified by its seriousness. It went like this: "Can you hear me? Hello?" "You're breaking up. " "Let me go outside. Now can you hear me?" "Hello? Are you there? I just wanted to tell you Mom died. Hello?" Q: Have you ever wondered if getting the phone was a mistake? A: Sure. Every time we try to use it from home to avoid long distance charges. Our house is in a dead zone. I have to walk outside to make it work. That's a problem because I'm usually conferring with my computer-guru-in-law, and the computer under discussion is, of course, in the house. In the dead zone. Q: Are you more comfortable with it now? A: Of course. You get used to anything. I use it more than my husband does, however, so we're not quite in sync. He had it with him in Atlanta where he was taking our daughter and her friend to a little railroad museum, and needed directions. I gave him the information, but several minutes later, when I picked up the phone at home again, I realized he had never clicked "End call." I could hear them talking "I think she said turn right here." "No, it's on Peachtree." I started shouting: "Dave! Dave! Turn off the phone!" "What was that?" I heard. "Sounded like someone calling me." "There, just across the tracks." I was running out of time. They'd go into the museum and leave the phone on. "DAVE! DAVE! YOO-HOO!" "What's that? I bet I forgot to " I finally heard, and then silence. Q: Should cell phones
be banned anywhere? There's one more place. I was in a ladies' room when the outer door opened and I could hear a very loud conversation: "Well, I didn't do it on purpose. Come on, you know I wouldn't. His number's only one off from Stephanie's and I hit it by ac No, I have not been trying to get back wi " The absence of answers made me realize the speaker was on the telephone. I wondered briefly if perhaps I should wait until she was done before I made any of the sounds that are normally heard in a ladies' room. When I heard, "Mom, you know how " I decided the unknown party was at least another female and knows what ladies' rooms sound like. I did what I had to do, washed my hands, and left them talking.
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