Wednesday, December 12, 2001
|
Wednesday, December 12, 2001 |
|
Christmas sequels I would like to see By MICHAEL
BOYLAN Ahhh, the holidays. A time when families get together for dinners and parties and end up in front of the television. Each year the same movies and programs return like old friends that talk about the same topics every time you run into them. In fact, so many of the Christmas movies have the same themes that in the end they blend together. What the world needs now, more than love, sweet love, is sequels to these classic holiday programs. Coming next Christmas, "It's a Wonderful Life, Too." Carrot Top plays a comedian who thinks the world would be better off without him. John Stamos plays a cool angel trying to get his wings and meet Elvis in heaven. Stamos takes Carrot Top around the world, showing the colorful comedian/pitch man what the world would be like without him. It is a peaceful world and 18 times less annoying than it is today. Carrot Top decides he wants to live and goes on entertaining drunk college students and making horrible commercials. Of course there will also be "Another Christmas Carol," starring Jack Palance as the now-insanely-happy Ebenezer Scrooge. Ever since the first film, Scrooge has lived his life to the fullest. He dances around gaily, giving away his wealth. This film picks up in July with Scrooge nearly penniless, yet still asking the local boys about the cost of geese in the butcher's window. The three ghosts return to show what will happen to Scrooge if he doesn't change his ways. Scrooge tempers himself, saves some cash and takes a Hawaiian vacation. In Hawaii, Scrooge finds a cursed tiki idol and nearly drowns while learning to surf. Luckily, Tiny Tim Cratchett is there to pull the old miser to shore. Other sequels to popular holiday programming heading your way in the future are "Ice Cold," a buddy cop movie starring Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer taking on a sadistic Jack Frost, and "The Green Grinch Project," a pseudo documentary about three college filmmakers searching for Whoville and the green beastie. As for new holiday specials, "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't, But Was" is sure to be entertaining. Angela Lansbury and Screech from "Saved by the Bell" team up to stop a corporate tycoon from ruining the holiday with his plans for making the holiday a work day. Another promising holiday film will be "I Married Santa," where Santa Claus, after an amicable separation from Mrs. Claus, meets Vicky, a sexy young coed. Vicky ends up saving Christmas when she helps Santa stop some renegade elves from sabotaging the holiday. These programs won't air until some time in the future, but just imagining them this year gets me in the Christmas spirit.
|
