By RICK RYCKELEY
Fayette County Fire & Emergency Services

There is something out there that's affecting most of us in this county. It's not in the air we breathe, in the water we drink, or even in the food we eat. When we go to sleep at night, it's in our very homes and it's there when we wake up in the morning.

It makes women tired, not be able to sleep at night, forget just about everything, and talk in a language undecipherable to adults. But even though it has this strange effect on them, they don't seem to mind. Most actually want to catch it. (This is in and of itself strange and inexplicable.)

Do not breathe a sigh of relief; the men in this county are not immune to this new phenomena for we too are affected. I have seen it reduce the most educated and brightest men to babbling idiots overnight. I have seen the strongest man brought to his knees crying in area hospitals due to its incurable effects.

Yes, it acts extremely quickly, and its effects on men and women last a lifetime. It does not matter what nationality you are, whether you are young or old, rich or poor, its affects on everyone are the same.

What could be spreading across this land quicker than a duck on a June bug? New babyitis has come to town and it's here to stay.

Most people say that family is a word...some of the people that I work with would call it a sentence. Me? I thing it's the greatest thing since peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

Before we got married, I asked my wife if she wanted to have children. I asked her when she turned 60 and looked back over her life would she regret not having any?

Her answer surprised me, as most do, and was thought provoking, as most are. She said that by looking back one can not be looking forward. She went on to say that it would not be the fact that she did not have children that she would regret, but rather she would feel that she missed out on really special experience. But does she really know what she's getting into?

A friend of mine will catch new babyitis within the next two weeks. This will the first baby for his wife and him. He told me that he was not sure about all of the things one has to do to be a good Dad. He knows that I had a 14-year-old at home so I must be an expert. (Little does this one know!)

I did not have the heart to tell him that teenagers have the innate ability to make one reconsider having children. I now know why children start off so cute and cuddly in the first five years of life. It's so parents will fall in love with them and not give them away when they get to be teenagers.

It seems the older I get, the dumber I get. Just ask my son. How could I go from knowing everything about all things just a few short years ago to knowing nothing about anything now?

My wife says that it's just a phase that he's going through, things will get better and just be patient. I asked her how long will this phase last. She said until he is no longer a teenager. I told her that I now know why the mommy bird kicks the baby bird out of the nest.

My friend said he and his wife could not wait to have the baby and that when it came they could finally get some rest. He said he's been up the last week with his wife being sick, and he keeps falling asleep at traffic lights. He asked me how long after the birth of my son was I able not to worry about things, get a good night's sleep, and not feel so tired? I told him that I would have to get back to him on that one.

I told him that children, like marriage, change your life forever and nothing is as constant as change. The joy that children bring into your life is truly a wonderful thing, he and his wife will never have a dull moment - or quiet one again. (Plus the new toys out there are really neat. I find that people don't look at you as strangely when you're buying them if you say that it's for your kid.)

I told my wife that I worry that I might be too old to have kids, not be able to spend enough time with them, not be patient enough and did not even know if I wanted to go through all of that again. She said, "Looking back the last fourteen years at all the good things that have happen and all of the bad, do you still consider yourself to be a good Dad? Would you still have had your son?" Without hesitation, I said yes. "Well then, what makes you think that you would not be again? I'm here now, and we make one heck of a team." Hard to argue with the high school's debate coach.

Beware fellow drivers. With a little luck, in about nine months, yours truly will catch new babyitis again, and there will be one very sleepy firefighter driving around out there.

[Rick Ryckeley is a full-time employee of Fayette County Fire and Emergency Services.]

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