The Fayette Citizen-Weekend Page

Wednesday, April 25, 2001

Punishment in Paradise

By SALLIE SATTERTHWAITE
sallies@juno.com

Preacher told the story Sunday of a couple who fought and scrapped so much, all their long married life, that when their Golden Wedding anniversary neared, their children presented them with a gift certificate for psychiatric counseling.

Ha, ha. That wasn't us, but close enough to make us squirm. Let this be public record that if anyone is planning a celebration for our 50th, five short years from now, we'd prefer something more traditional, like a cruise. In Hawaii, maybe.

Really, since we read about onboard family reunions, the idea has been rolling around in my mind like a marble on a pitching deck. There is something for everybody on a cruise, from young kids, to teens, to the 40-somethings our kids will be then, to us geriatric guests of honor.

As long as they don't fall overboard, no one is going to get permanently lost, and parental supervision will be minimal. Someone else will be fixing meals and catering to our family's diverse diets. It would be a time of renewal, bonding sisters who live on separate continents (might as well be separate planets) and sons-in-law (actual or wishful-thinking). Not to mention the possibility that cousins ­ none of whom are related by blood ­ might strike up romances of their own.

It's easy to fantasize, but life teaches us that things seldom go that smoothly. With the help of notes made 20 years ago, I'm remembering how one of the most heavenly days of my life became one of the most painful. What should have been paradise turned into that other place, and ironically, it was during the only previous cruise I've ever been on, in celebration of our 25th anniversary.

There are bits and pieces of heaven scattered here and there upon this earth. Places where the world is all sea and sky, crystal clear and wind-swept clean, with only patches of rocky land caught between the blue and the blue. Above crashing waves, old green-clad peaks reach for the sun, and narrow roads run pell-mell past stone walls and tile-roofed villas.

Bougainvillea and hibiscus bloom in profusion, all out of control, softening harsh lava rocks cluttering every yard and roadway. The villages are a cacophony to the senses: the happy clatter of steel bands, the melodious accent of the island people; the pungent smell of frying meats; shops with gaudy wares beckoning from ever-open doorways.

In Heaven-on-earth, the sun-warmed breeze chases the sails in and out of snug harbors and gains access to houses that need neither windows nor screens. And on a clear moonless night, Orion can be seen striding across the spangled sky, the diamonds on his sword gleaming fire through the atmosphere.

Such a place is St. Martin, or Sint Maarten, depending on which side of the border you speak from. French on the north, Dutch on the south, the tiny island rides the Caribbean waves in peace and international harmony, charming the clueless visitor who thought "tropical" meant Florida.

When a small inheritance made it possible, we sailed away for a winter week there in absolutely sinful self-indulgence. Oblivious to the rest of the world, we slept and ate and read and shopped, and lay in worshipful prostration before the divine sun god.

"How romantic," a friend sighed. It was, until sunburn made romance unthinkable, but then we busied ourselves with other pursuits.

Like snorkeling. The beauty of land and sky was rivaled by the magic beneath the water's surface, a kingdom so rich in color and mystery it was easy to wish we belonged there. Floating face down in silent water so clear depth perception is distorted, buoyed by the gentle rocking of the waves, we returned the curious gaze of blue and gold damselfish.

I thought I was well clear of the danger of the jet-black sea urchins which stud the shimmering sea bottom, when ­ somehow ­ the sole of my right foot brushed the poisonous spines of one lurking in the crevice of a rock. The pain was instantaneous and intense, and by the time I floundered ingloriously up on the beach, my poor foot was curled in spasm and I could hardly bear to touch it to pull out the spikes not yet broken under the skin.

Dave half-carried me ­ no easy feat! ­ to our room, where I took Benadryl and aspirin, and then called the Italian maitre d' who seemed to know how to deal with a variety of emergencies. His advice made me wish I left him tasting béarnaise sauce or arranging hors d'oeuvres.

"You must soak ze foot in ammonia or urine," he intoned.

"But Carmello, I don't have any ammonia!" I wailed. He merely looked at me meaningfully and handed Dave a small plastic dishpan.

What the heck, I was ready to try anything, and who knows how much worse it might have been if I hadn't.

I was walking again in a day or two and could hobble unassisted through the long airport corridors on the way home. But for at least a month, every step reminded me that in Paradise, even the humblest organism may achieve a certain immortality.

A simple sea urchin, all innocent and unaware, nestles somewhere on a sloping Caribbean beach. Memories of his lovely isle may live in my heart, but that urchin will always be a part of my very sole.


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