Wednesday, April 25, 2001
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Wednesday, April 25, 2001 |
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Accountability groups help focus on grace By REV JOHN HATCHER Last week Professor David Roadcup of Atlanta Christian College invited me to a focus group meeting concerning the future orientation of Promise Keepers (PK). Professor Roadcup is a member of Promise Keepers' International Board of Reference. What was so significant about the focus group was not what I had to contribute but what I learned. The group was led by Dr. Ray Mitsch, a full time staffer for PK from Colorado, charged with the responsibility of developing materials and strategies which can be effectively used by the church to disciple men. One of the chief components of PK has been its strong encouragement that every man should be involved in some sort of accountability group. An accountability group consists of two, three or four men who gather regularly in person, by telephone, or even E-mail to check on one another, to see how life is going. Women, perhaps by nature, are much more prone to cluster and in clustering, they share their struggles, guilt, and actually want to hear how other women handle the tough situations and still remain Christ-like. Men are far different. Though men are not from Mars, we often act like we are from some other planet. It's tough for men to open up. It's tough for men to share their inner most fears and their inner most struggles. One of the most popular behaviors that most men feel comfortable sharing with other men is the act/thought thing of lust. After all, did not Jimmy Carter confess that he often "lusted" in his heart? You might say that "lust" is a pretty safe sin for men to confess to one another. Why, all healthy, full-bloodied men lust, don't we? Of course, there's the sin of the love of money a sin which men fairly easily confess to their accountability partners, prompting continual follow-ups, "Are you giving God first place in your finances?" To which, the other accountability partner may respond, "Well, I'm on my way. I know I am still robbing God, but since most everybody else is doing it, I don't feel too bad." Accountability, however, has its taboo subjects except for the men who dare go where no one else goes. Masturbation is a significant problem among men, but no one wants to confess to it because it was supposed to go out with puberty. Not so. Non-signed surveys indicate that far too many Christian men retreat to the stronghold of masturbation, fueled by pornography, when things get tough around the office and home. But, what accountability partners are asking that question? So, at best, accountability partners become a system of management of safe sins. That is, far the vast numbers of such partners men and women. PK has been discovering that since accountability partners foster the power of sin, through the implementation of the law, that it has evolved into simple sin managements. "Bob, how many sins did you commit today? Well, that's better than last week. Praise God." What PK has been learning is that accountability partners must be expanded to center and focus on God's grace, as well as God's expectations. After all the Christian life, as my New Testament Professor Frank Stagg put it, is about gift and demand. Unfortunately, in our partnerships, we've focused on God's law, His demands, and His expectations with little focus on God's grace. Did not the Apostle Paul teach us in Galatians that if we refocus on the law after coming to faith by grace through Jesus Christ, we have fallen from grace (Galatians 5:4)? So, let me challenge you men, especially you who are in accountability groups, to think long and hard how would it sound like and look like if relationships were based on grace. Let me give you an example: Bob is talking to Bill, "Bill I know you've shared with me your struggle with lust. Let me encourage you to think today about how much God loves you, how much you love your wife, and how much she loves you. Because of your love for her, I know there's nothing you wouldn't do for her and she's already demonstrated she will stand by you through any kind of adversity. By the way, Bill, I love you and I am going to pray that you'll get a vision of the love of God, the love of your wife, and the love your wife has for you." Question: does that sound different from, "Hey, Bill, how many times did you look at a women with lust today?" Paul says that when we live by the law, we fall from grace. But when we live by grace, we are full of the grace of God that allows us to act in forgiving, encouraging, and very loving way. Just to set you on notice: there's a paradigm shift coming in accountability relationships. Why not get a head start?
The Rev. Dr. John Hatcher is pastor of River's Edge Community Church in Fayetteville.
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