Wednesday, April 4, 2001
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Wednesday, April 4, 2001 |
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People and the moviews they walk out on By
MICHAEL BOYLAN
Last week a colleague of mine saw "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and walked out. I believe that everyone is entitled to an opinion, but sometimes someone else's opinions are not as valid as mine. I can understand walking out of movies. I have walked out of movies on a number of occasions, but never an Oscar-nominated film. One movie that I walked out of was "Weekend At Bernie's 2." If you are a faithful reader of this column, you have probably caught me venting my disgust at this film before. The film took place a short time after the first film, but it had aged poorly in the years between releases. Audiences were now expected to extend their disbelief even further, buying into the fact that an entire community would still think Bernie was alive. The film also focused on two Caribbean con men and a voodoo ritual that made Bernie's corpse dance every time he heard Reggae. I made it through 10 minutes and had to give up. It is constantly on cable and I still get the shakes when I pass by it. Another film that was worth walking out on was "Almost Heroes" starring Matthew Perry ("Friends") and Chris Farley ("Dead Fat Junkie"). Luckily, I didn't have to pay for this one, as a friend of mine worked at a movie theater. I believe Farley had already kicked the bucket when this came out, but if he hadn't you could see he was close. He was extremely heavy (especially in the face) and his voice seemed strained. Perry was awful, as were the jokes. The plot focused on two people out to defeat Lewis and Clark's exploration teams. This was truly one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life. Now, I know I have professed my love of B-grade movies, but there is a difference between B-grade and bad. A B-grade movie isn't really trying to be outstanding. In fact, they seem to revel in how low-budget and cheesy they are. B-grade movies also rarely have the support of a Hollywood studio. Bad movies set out to be good and have the support of a studio, a budget and a marketing department. "The Legend of Boggy Creek" and "Zarkorr The Invader" are B-grade movies. Yes, they are poorly written and acted, but they are both semi-entertaining. "Mannequin 2" and "Hocus Pocus" are bad movies. Some of you probably own "Hocus Pocus" and would defend this film strongly, but here's why I hated this film. I grew up near Salem and the city in the movie looked nothing like Salem. I also really disliked the character of the talking cat and found it quite disturbing. There is one scene in which the cat is flattened by a car. The children cry and then the cat reinflates himself and says, "Don't cry. I told you I can't die." It really bugged me. As you can see, walking out of movies does not bother me. I can understand the disappointment over paying some of your hard-earned cash, thinking you'll be entertained and then being grossly disappointed when that doesn't happen. I sat through "Nutty Professor II: The Klumps" because I was with someone and didn't know if they wanted to leave, despite the feeling that the film would not get any better and could only get worse. I feel bad that my friend did not enjoy "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" but he has the right, as we all do, to exit a film early if it does not live up to his expectations. The only problem with walking out of a movie is that you have paid to see it and no matter how bad it is, you will not get your money back. How many people have sat through movies they hated? "Nutty Professor II" made a lot of money, so much that they could justify making another one if they wanted to. Yet, that movie was rank. I just ask that if you hate a movie, walk out and register a complaint with the theater and with the studio that produced it. You may be the only one, like my buddy, but that way you can feel justified in knowing that they may have your money but they'll never have your heart. |
