The Fayette Citizen-Weekend Page

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

The end if the world and other happy thoughts

By MICHAEL BOYLAN
mboylan@TheCitizenNews.com

Earth is approximately 4.6 billion years old.

In the planet's long and illustrious history there have been two devastating events that have triggered nearly worldwide extinction, and several more that we're not really too proud of (see The Crusades, The Holocaust and "Weekend at Bernie's II").

Sixty-five million years ago, a comet that was approximately six miles across smashed into what is known as the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico and killed off all the dinosaurs. There was another event, though, that occurred close to 190 million years before that.

A group of scientists recently discovered that a comet struck Earth approximately 250 million years ago. The comet was between three and seven miles wide and wiped out 90 percent of the ocean life and 70 percent of life on the land. Two hundred fifty million years ago, all of the continents were joined together in a land that has been called Pangaea.

Were there cars back then, or humans, it would have been possible to travel from the La Brea tar pits in Los Angeles to Peking for some Chinese food. It wouldn't be worth the trip, though, because an hour after you left, you'd be hungry again.

But I digress.

When these comets struck the planet, a superheated vapor was created and rolled for hundreds of miles, wiping out everything in its path. There were also tidal waves and so much dust was launched into the atmosphere that it darkened the sky for an extended period and chilled the earth.

O.K., so what's my point?

We're due for another one of these comets to hit.

This has been explored in movies like "Armageddon" and "Deep Impact" and in books like Larry Niven's "Lucifer's Hammer," (which is terrific, by the way) and yet, nobody talks about this really happening. Every now and then, somebody will claim that a rock is going to strike the Earth and, without fail, nothing happens and we collectively laugh at the Chicken Little.

"Nothing can ever happen to us," we say. "We have VCRs and Microwaves. We are an advanced civilization. I mean, hello, icemakers built into refrigerators. I think we can prevent worldwide extinction."

But we can't.

We can't send a mining team up in a space shuttle and have them detonate a nuclear warhead on an asteroid and we can't intercept a comet. We can't even come up with a more efficient way to handle mail than the post office. I mean, have you been there on a Saturday? It's a zoo.

Imagine waking up this weekend, turning on CNN and seeing footage of the comet that will end life as you know it. There will be footage, of course, and, of course, CNN and every other network will show it. They'll bring Bernard Shaw out of retirement so he can stand in the middle of the road and say, "I was afraid in Baghdad, but I'm not afraid now! Come and get me, sucker!"

And he'd have the right attitude. As scary as worldwide extinction is, there is really nothing to fear except surviving it. It would be natural for us to ponder what is awaiting us on the other side and maybe to be a little fearful. It would also be natural to be sad and sentimental for all of the things that will inevitably be wiped out when the tidal wave or the superheated vapor cloud rolls through town.

But there is nothing to do. Death is inevitable. Just like taxes and stupid people.

And that is really my point. As scary as death is, whether it is your death or the death of a loved one, you can't really avoid it. It would be nice to jump onto cancer cells or clogged arteries and blow them up with a nuclear warhead, but that isn't going to happen. And most likely, you won't be able to intercept that car that is hurtling toward you either. Death is coming and your feelings are natural, but the sooner you can see them for what they are, and stop living in fear, the better you'll feel.

We all live in fear. Fear stops us from doing all sorts of things we'd really like to do. We fear rejection so we don't ask that person out or try out for that team or apply for that job. We fear hurting someone's feelings, so we don't say what needs to be said or we don't do what needs to be done. There may be reincarnation, but until your uncle, who you think came back as that bird that sits beneath your window, actually talks to you and tells you to live a better life or you'll be eating worms, think of this as your only go around and enjoy yourself.

Life is too short to have regrets and they seem to pile up pretty fast.

 


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