By DAVID EPPS
Pastor

I had no idea that my column last week would generate so much interest. It seems that not all of those living in Fayette and Coweta counties are rock-solid Republicans. In case you forgot or somehow missed my column (not that you would), I shared on the subject of "You Must be a Gore-Lieberman Democrat if..."

Not everyone appreciated my part-serious, part-humorous take on the matter and a few were downright indignant. People hereabouts are passionate about their politics.

However, one Timothy J. Parker, a retired U. S. Army lieutenant colonel, gave as good as he took. Col. Parker wrote, "Normally I enjoy your column as an island of reason in a sea of right-wing pseudo-intellectuals; however, I can see from your latest endeavor, you're not above a good stereotype if you can grab onto one."

He is right, of course. I just love a good stereotype. However, Mr. Parker caused me to wince when he reminded me of a few Republican failures, as he said, "There's the philanderer Newt Gingrich." (Ouch! That one hurt!)

"Remember Reagan and the constant stream of indictments of cabinet members." (I do try to forget those days.)

"If Reagan hadn't been so popular, I have no doubt he would have been impeached over Iran-Contra." (You may be right, Colonel. Clinton proved that Americans will forgive sins but hate to be lied to. In fact, the BIG lie "Read my lips-no new taxes" probably cost George not-W. Bush his job.)

"Further, Republicans seem to believe that wealth makes right and poor people are just lazy." (Here, I have to agree with you. Many Repubs are shortsighted on this one.)

But then Colonel Parker responded tit for tat by offering his own take on the election and the mess that has followed. Here is what Colonel Parker had to say:

"You must be a Bush-Cheney Republican if...

" You believe in the court system, but only if it does exactly what you want.

" You consider yourself a strict constructionist, but have never read the Constitution, have no real idea of the history behind it, but think the Second Amendment allows you to have a GAU 8 30mm with hydraulic attachments in your living room. (I think this must be a big weapon, but I trained on the M-14 a lifetime ago and am unfamiliar with the new gee-whiz guns, USMC 1970-73).

" Agree that 537 votes cast out of 6 million should be the final determinant, with no appeal, of the leader of a country where 100 million votes were cast and the apparent loser won 300,000 more votes.

" Believe that common folk (you know, like you and me) are willing to risk a lengthy jail term to get a few more votes because of their party affiliation.

" Believe it is right that George W. Bush signed a law declaring hand counts more accurate, specifying indented chads as voter intent, and now acts as though the Democrats are pilfering votes because they want the same thing.

" Believe that the sins of the father transfer to the son.

" Believe that Katherine Harris is unbiased.

" Believe the Florida Supreme Court gives a damn who is elected President of the United States.

" Think that two draft dodgers who "believed" in the Vietnam war will be better in the White House than one veteran who opposed it."

Frankly, I thought that Col. Parker did a pretty good job. I smiled when I realized that he had me pegged pretty well! Col. Parker took me to task by stating, "You seem to state that all Democrats are pro-abortion, not people of good conscience wrestling with a very complex social and ethical issue."

I agree that not all Democrats are pro-abortion, but, Colonel, I have to say that I can never vote for a Republican or a Democrat who is soft on this issue. I like Zell Miller, Jimmy Carter and Max Cleland, and I'd probably consider voting for them if they'd repudiate the abortion plank of the Democratic platform.

"Fortunately," said Parker, "we have a strong democracy and a Constitution where we can flee. God bless James Madison, Gouverneur Morris, Ben Franklin, George Washington, Alexander Hamilton, and all the other men of good conscience who could disagree, but keep their humanity."

That's a good word, Colonel! You and I disagree on some pretty basic and fundamental issues, but I think I'd share a foxhole with you any day. You are a patriot, a warrior, and a Gore supporter. Two out of three ain't bad!

[David Epps is rector of Christ the King Church. He may be contacted at FatherDavidEpps@aol.com or at www.ChristTheKingCEC.com.]

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