Wednesday, November 22, 2000

By BILLY MURPHY
Laugh Lines

Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot...

But the Grinch, who lived just North of Whoville, did NOT!

But there was something worse that came and stole the real Christmas Spirit

In the form of a tie, yes, a clench... turn to CNN and you'll hear it.

For there was a governor and vice president indeed

Who fought for the top spot with malice and greed!

And when they tied and couldn't decide just who had won

They took all the air out of Christmas and took out the fun.

So instead of Yuletide stories of children, moms and dads

All we hear about are danglers and deadlines and chads.

Instead of old Saint Nick preparing for his ride from up North

Everyone is focusing on Florida, and the handcounts henceforth,

Staring down from the courts with a sour Grinchy frown.

All the lawyers on the left, and the right go to town

Filing the lawsuits and the writs and the briefs.

"I have won," said the Bush but that was not the Gore's belief.

So they battled and clenched and faced each other with a sneer

Ruining our Christmas, Why it's almost here!

All the Whos who work at Visa and Mastercard too

Will get no Christmas bonus, for there's no shopping ballyhoo.

And what of that Grinch? Did he love the coup?

To see someone else do what he could not do?

To see Christmas ruined and stole from the Whos

And to watch it all from home on the nightly news?

Who could have thought that so much damage could come from a tie?

Two men wrenching and clenching and making alibi

Standing haggard and defiant, both men seem to dare us

To try and enjoy Christmas as much as Katherine Harris.

And though they both think they're standing right and tall

We all have watched their hearts shrink two sizes too small.

So who will win the tie, and feast on the beast

While all us Whos get no victory in the least.

[Visit Billy Murphy on the Internet at http://ebilly.net.]

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