Wednesday, November 15, 2000
|
Wednesday, November 15, 2000 |
|
The lost pages of "The Wizard of Oz" By
MICHAEL BOYLAN
If you know me, you know I love to go to yard sales and flea markets. Old Flea Market Mike is what a lot of people call me. Well, really just one person. And, come to think of it, he didn't know me very well at all. He was a crazy old homeless man who called everybody Flea Market Mike. But that's beside the point. This weekend as my lady friend and I cruised the seemingly endless parade of used wares and treasures in the area, I stumbled upon perhaps one of the greatest discoveries of the modern era. We are all familiar with L. Frank Baum's novel "The Wizard of Oz," but the copy I found does not end where many other copies end. Since I will only part with my magnificent copy for millions of dollars, I will give you, my faithful readers, a summary of the lost pages of "The Wizard of Oz." The ending that most of us know ends with Dorothy Gale in bed at her Aunt Em's house. Aunt Em tells her that she and her Uncle Henry were worried sick when they couldn't find her and that Dorothy has an awful bump on her head. Dorothy tells the group that sits at her bedside about her amazing adventure in Oz and swears that it could not have been a dream. She then relays the message that Glenda the Good Witch told her before she left Oz, "There's no place like home." Now this is where it gets weird. Aunt Em tells Dorothy to get some rest and shoos everybody out of her room. The ranch hands leave the farm house and promise to return bright ad early the next morning to help with repairs. Dorothy feigns sleep and eavesdrops on a conversation between Em and Henry in the living room. "Shouldn't we tell her the truth, Em." "No, Henry. The poor girl has been through enough. We must not let her know that that awful place is real." Then an axe bursts through the window and three skulking silhouettes approach the door of the house. It is of course the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion and the Tin Man. "Surrender Dorothy to us," the Scarecrow said. "We need her back with us in Oz." Em and Henry scream in terror as the three friends burst through the door. Dorothy wakes up but does not make a noise. "We need her," the Tin Man said. "She liberated us from the witches' evil spells." Uncle Henry grabs his shotgun and points it at the intruders. "She's our niece and she's staying here with us in Kansas. This here gun is going to make sure of it. It can take all three of you out if it has to." "Sure it can, Pops," the Lion says with a not so cowardly growl. "But can it take out 300 Munchkins?" The sound of 300 Munchkins giggling permeates the calm Kansas evening. It drowns out the sounds of the crickets and makes the hair on Dorothy's neck stand up. Dorothy bursts out of her bedroom, preventing any blood from being shed. "You all are being so mean. Don't you realize that this is my home," she asks her friends from Oz. "And don't you realize that these are my friends and that violence doesn't solve anything?" she asked her family. "Why can't we just live here together, in peace and harmony? I can't go back to Oz, but I don't want to leave my friends either. After all, this is Kansas and my friends the Joads left for California, just like everybody else in this god forsaken state." Everybody ponders the wise words of Dorothy. They drink many pots of coffee and talk long into the night. After all is said and done, the visitors from Oz are allowed to stay on the farm as long as they pull their weight. The Scarecrow protects the crops, the Tin Man produces firewood and helps build shelters for all of the Munchkinland refugees and the Lion kills more than his share of varmints so that everybody has plenty to eat. Eventually, though, the Dust Bowl gets to be too much for the now large family and they travel west to California. There are rumors of an amusement park forming, but the author loses contact with Dorothy in the 1960s when she travels up to Berkley and starts protesting the Vietnam War. The End. Maybe the story is better off without the extended ending, but it is good to know that all of the characters lived on, happily ever after.
|
