Wednesday, November 1, 2000
Wednesday, November 1, 2000 |
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The voting guide according to Mike By MICHAEL BOYLAN This is an important election year and every vote counts. It is almost time for you to go out to the polls, Mr and Mrs. John Q. Public, and make your voice heard. The following is a rundown of important races that must be decided and the opinions expressed in this column are not the opinions of anyone else at this publication. Obviously. Battle for the White House: Though many people see this as a two-man race, there are actually several other candidates vying for a chance to be your next president. Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader and Harry Browne are three men who don't have a clue and stayed in the election thus far, while Gore and Bush have a slightly bigger clue and more money and polls behind them. If you don't like any of these choices, join the club. Your only other option is to write a name in. You could write my name in, but it wouldn't count. Please do it in 12 years, which is the next election in which I would be eligible to be president. My suggestion is to write in Jeb Bartlett, the fictional president on TV's "The West Wing." More people like him than Gore and Bush supporters combined and if the presidency is going to be scripted, how about having an Academy and Emmy award-winning writer writing it. Battle for getting Coverdell's chair: Paul Coverdell died before the completion of his Senate term and was replaced by former Gov. Zell Miller. Republicans were up in arms that a Republican seat would be filled by a Democrat and are now trying to get Mack Mattingly elected. They'd have a better chance if it was Don Mattingly. Say what you want about Miller, but people liked him and he did give us the HOPE grant. That paid for most of my education as well as millions of other students. When you give, you shall receive. If it goes to a runoff, like some pundits believe, Mattingly will get pounded even worse. A funny write-in idea, though, is Caesar. He was in the Senate before being stabbed in the back. Who knew that history would repeat itself over and over for thousands of years? And since that is true, does that mean we're going to have another war with the French? I don't know much about the local races and wouldn't want to be unfair since this a local paper. I do have one question, though: Do we need to have a Republican coroner, and does that mean he won't bury the Democrats as well? I mean, that's like saying, "We can't go to that bank, it's got those dang Libertarian tellers. The way they give me my money makes me so dang mad. And don't get me started about them Democratic people at the Post Office." Liquor By The Drink a.k.a The Red Lobster Referendum: There are a few counties in the state that do not serve liquor by the drink and Fayette County is one of them. You may like liquor, you may not, and truthfully that isn't really the issue. The issue is giving everybody their personal freedom to make that choice (like you're supposed to have in America) and getting the things that this county wants. We would have a Red Lobster here if we had liquor by the drink and I know that lots of people want a good seafood restaurant here. The other thing about liquor by the drink is that it stops all of these restaurants from making margaritas with wine. That is just nasty. If you've had one, you know what I'm talking about and if you haven't tried one, don't bother. Some people say that if there is liquor by the drink, more people will drive drunk. To that I say, then open a liquor store where people can drink in the privacy of their own homes and not have to drive anywhere. I don't mean to be flip. Drunk driving is an issue, but most people are good citizens who wouldn't drive drunk anyway. By that I mean very few people make a conscious decision to go out and drive drunk. Just because they'll have an option to have liquor with their dinner doesn't mean they're automatically going to go Otis Campbell on everybody and end up completely sauced. Vote your conscience on this issue and remember that you have to go to the Depot to vote for it or against it. Next Tuesday marks a day to celebrate one of our most valued freedoms, the freedom to vote. Speak your mind and head out to the polls. I'll see you there.
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