By DAVID EPPS
Pastor

“If Jesus came to our town, would he visit Hooters, have a beer, and eat oysters?” Now, it's always dangerous to presume to have an idea what Jesus would do in any given situation, but it's an intriguing question, don't you think? WWJD? What would Jesus do?

Around 11 or 12 years ago, I was taking a week-long seminary course in Lakeland, Fla. On that Sunday, I had left my church service around 12:30 p.m., driven the eight hours, and checked into the Holiday Inn on South Florida Drive. Weary and hungry, I asked the clerk at the hotel, “Do you have a restaurant here?” “No,” he replied, “but there's one right next door.” Thanking him, I walked across the parking lot and entered the Lakeland Hooters Restaurant. I had never heard of the place, had no preconceived thoughts one way or the other, and was not struck blind upon entering.

The place was a bit noisy, but no more so than a Ruby Tuesday's or a Longhorn Steakhouse. The waitress, a sweet young lady attending the local university, took my order and brought a pitcher of Diet Coke (I am addicted to Coke and don't generally like beer) and a platter of fried oysters and fries.

It is true that the waitress was in her early 20s, was attractive, wore orange shorts and a T-shirt, but this was Florida. Everybody seemed to be friendly, in shorts and T-shirts, and young (to me everybody is young!). I watched television while I ate the oysters and enjoyed the evening. I believe that I may have eaten there twice more that week.

Some months later, I revisited the seminary, accompanied by a friend, another pastor. After the eight-hour drive, we were tired and hungry. Staying at the same Holiday Inn, I suggested that we try the place next door and off we went.

When we arrived at the restaurant, he froze and looked at me aghast. “I'm not going in there!” he declared.

“Why not?”

“Because that's Hooters!” he stated.

“So? And your point is what?” I inquired.

He explained that it was not a good place to go, as ministers we shouldn't be there, and, anyway, his wife would kill him! (I may not have perfect recall about that night, but that's my version and I'm sticking to it). So, we went somewhere else that didn't even serve oysters.

When I arrived home, I told my wife about the event and asked her if she didn't think that my friend was being a bit silly. She wanted to know what I was doing in that place and forbade me to ever eat at Hooters again. Because some hills are not worth dying for or dying on, I meekly complied ... for the most part, anyway.

But back to the question first proffered above. I believe that the answer is “probably, possibly, and maybe.”

In reverse order, as to the oysters, Jesus, being a good law-keeping Jew would probably not have eaten oysters when he was walking the earth. Judaism, after all, contained a shellfish prohibition (Leviticus 11:10-12). However, in Acts 10:14-15, it appears that this prohibition was lifted. So, maybe he would eat oysters.

But would he drink a beer? No matter how one tries to explain it away, it is clear that Jesus turned water into wine (John 2:1-10), ate enough food and drank enough wine that the religious people were scandalized (Matthew 11:18-19), and offered the disciples wine at the institution of Holy Communion (Luke 22:17-18, 20). It is disingenuous and historically irresponsible to suggest that the substance in the cup was Welch's. Jews used wine at Passover.

So, he drank wine ... but beer? I dunno about that one ... possibly.

Would he go to Hooters? Jesus didn't seem as bothered by the everyday common people as modern religious people are. Indeed, he really didn't seem to care one way or the other what the religious people thought about him. In fact, the religious leaders spat out their accusation that he was a “friend of sinners” (Matthew 11:19).

The last time I looked, “sinners,” neither in Jesus' time nor in our day, weren't out looking all over the city for religious people to follow around. And, at least in my observation, most religious people are not out trying to get chummy with irreligious folk.

Simply put, Jesus went to where the “sinners” were (and, as if we needed to be reminded, we all are sinners, “saved by grace through faith,” notwithstanding). The religious leader named Simon could not believe that Jesus would allow himself to even be physically touched by this riffraff (Luke 7:39). No true “prophet” would hang around with these kind of people. So thought Simon disgustedly ... and wrongly.

So would Jesus go to a place like Hooters? He certainly would not go there, or anywhere, to ogle or flirt and drink to excess. If he did go, it wouldn't be for the oysters. Jesus would go to the cross for people that were called “sinners.” Early Church tradition even said that he went to hell for those that were called “sinners.” But would he go to Hooters for them? Probably.

On at least one occasion Jesus did get criticized for eating with the undesirables at the home of a known sinner. “When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, `Why does your teacher eat with... sinners?' On hearing this Jesus said, `It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick... For I have not come to call the righteous but sinners'” (Matthew 9:11-12).

I think that if the “sinners” were at Hooters, or at the local pool hall, or at the biker bar, Jesus would go and eat with them. He might even drink a beer and eat a few oysters. And I really don't think he would give a hoot about what anybody else thought about it.

[Father David Epps is rector at Christ the King Charismatic Episcopal Church in the South Metro Atlanta area. When he is not drinking Diet Coke and eating oysters, he may be contacted at FatherDavidEpps@aol.com or at www.ChristTheKingCEC.com.]

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