The Fayette Citizen-Weekend Page
Wednesday, July 12, 2000
The lesser know works of Shakespeare

One of my favorite things to do is to poke around musty old bookstores and hunt for bargains. Recently I found an amazing book called, “Lesser Known Shakespearean Tragedies.” I have read the book several times in the past few months and will give you, dear reader, a glimpse into some of the more obscure plays the Bard wrote.

The first play I read was called “Glumsnatch the Cobbler.” Glumsnatch was the village cobbler and he was very unhappy. Many of the villagers went about their daily business barefoot and Glumsnatch had little business and even less money. One day, Glumsnatch snaps and starts throwing bits of broken glass and rusty nails all over the ground, forcing people into shoes. Here's a soliloquy from Act II, right before Glumsnatch flips out.

Glumsnatch: Woe, the tides of Fate have swallowed poor Glumsnatch. And those who dance about in naked feet, step on my fragile, cobbler soul. To find that place, that Heaven, that looks and sounds like this fair village, but is full of those who care about their feet. My eyes will nary stop searching the majestic sky for that Heaven.

Pretty heavy, huh ? Glumsnatch is eventually captured, tortured and murdered for his crimes against the people of the village. Just to spite him, the villagers don their shoes and have Glumsnatch's family polish them.

The next play in the book was called “Who Wants Six Pence?” The story focuses on a town that becomes enraptured by a new form of entertainment, a live game. The host of the game, Philbio, is very dark and mysterious. he asks the villagers common knowledge questions and the one who answers them all correctly wins the six pence.

Here is an excerpt.

Philbio: Now, it is time to play, “Who Wants Six Pence ?” Our first contestant is Dennis, the shepherd. Are you ready to play, Dennis.

Dennis: Yes, sir. I shall try my best.

Philbio: Good. Your first question, Dennis. What heats the Earth ?

Dennis: Ummm, well, I was always told that there is a dragon below the surface of the earth, guarding the gates of Hell. He is always heating the earth and God is always blowing down cool air to keep our environment moderate.

Philbio: A dragon. Is that your final answer, good Dennis ?

Dennis: Yes,sir.

Philbio: I'm sorry. The earth is heated by the sun.

Later on, the villagers revolt and tear Philbio limb from limb for heresy. When confronted by Philbio's mysterious patrons, the villagers claimed they murdered him because his ties (which they found too bright and distracting) were possessed by the Devil.

The final tragedy in the book is very similar to Romeo and Juliet, except for the fact that it is the only known Shakespearean play to take place in the Prehistoric Era.

The play, appropriately titled, “Urk and Meni” deals with two star-crossed, cro-magnon lovers, Urk and Meni. Urk is the fire gatherer for his tribe, while Meni belongs to the harem of a neighboring tribe. This excerpt comes from the scene, which takes place right outside Meni's cave.

Urk: (pants, bellows,) Ooog.

Meni: (hushed voice) Laa.

Urk: Ha gar lo nosa.

Meni: (hisses)

The scene goes on like that for five pages. While Shakespeare captured the emotions of falling in love with someone from a different tribe, not being able to understand exactly what the main characters are saying kind of takes away from the play's power.

In fact, it is easy to see why none of these plays ever became as famous as many of his other works did. People want to see what they know. They knew about kingdoms falling due to corrupt politicians (MacBeth and Hamlet) but they couldn't grasp cavemen or game shows. Keep your eye out for little treasures like “Lesser Known Shakespearean Tragedies,” they make reading more fun.



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